Separate But Not Equal

Chapter XXXVIII

"My family could loan you some money."

"ARE YOU EVEN LISTENING. You can't just lend me money. I don't have enough money for tuition. I don't have enough money to apply to a school. I don't have enough money to do anything remotely admirable with my life. I hardly have enough money to buy my own clothes."

Everyone around us seems to stare for a while, looking me up and down with grimace and judgement written all over their faces

Good Job Ivory.

You just told everyone in the school how poor you are.

"You didn't need to shout, based on your appearance we already know you're life is pathetic," some girl giggles loudly.

The whole crowd around us erupt into laughter, and push each other even more, whispering obnoxiously loud.

"Not that much of a surprise is it?"

"Maybe she should leave the school help her father to maintain whatever pigs sty that they're living in."

"And she wonders why people call her inferior."

"Seems that theyweren't wrong about people of her race."

"You've got to feel bad for her. She probably has no family left over."

"No ones fault but their own."

The bell rings, echoing throughout the hall and giving me a wave of relief.

As people drift apart I walk away uncomfortably, trying to ignore the calls from Jess and Riana.

***

Shuffling out of fifth period, the noise of shouting, cheering and the stench of the six foot tall basketball team indicates that their has just been a game.

And that our school team has won.

Wow.

I laugh as I watch all of the different girlfriends run up into their boyfriends arms and then the look of disgust on their face as they notice the same smell of sweat that everyone else has.

Sometimes I envy them.

Not often.

Just, from time to time.

Their relationships.

Not the sweat and the smell after a basketball team.

The things that those girls get to go through, that people like me don't get to throughout high school.

They look so happy. Like they've been married for years. Like they have a few dozen children waiting for them at home. Like they're putting up an act. Like they're trying to convince people that they're head-over-heels in love with each other and they have been for a lifetime.

"Aww, poor little Ivory. Do you think that if you stare long enough you'll get one yourself?"

"What?" I whip around to see Lauren, with her hands on her hips, glaring at me.

"A boyfriend. You seem a bit upset. Only just realised guys will never get with you now?"

"Never is a strong word, don't you think?"

"Its the truth. Because if you seriously think that anyone would ever like... well, a negro" she indicates towards me "Or want to deal with you and your life then you're really wrong."