They didn't care before, why would they care now. They didn't notice when I was at my lowest, they didn't see when I was about to take my own life. Now that I was trying, why should I listen to them?
A few hours later I was lying on my bed, after 48 hours without sleep I thought I might be tired enough to fall asleep without wanting to put a blade to my wrist. It didn't take long before I knew that sleep was impossible and I dug my nails into my wrist to stop myself from crying.
Visions of my nightmares swum before my eyes, shadows turned into monsters in the corners of my room. I sat up in bed and cried, my sobs echoing in the silence and my thoughts twisting into irrational messages that I wanted to act on.
I was two steps from falling from the edge of the cliff that I had been balanced on for my entire life. I took those last two steps on my own.
And as I held that bottle of pills in my hand, the prescription medication that I never took because it caused the hallucinations to grow out of control, I fell.
But I didn't look back.
I'm not that mean.
. maybe I am.
;)
"NO!" He cried, wrenching the bottle from my hands just as my shaking fingers undid the cap. I stumbled back, falling to the floor and my head hit the carpet pretty hard.
My vision blurred for a few seconds, my exhaustion and weakness meaning I couldn't even keep my eyes open. He crouched by my side, his hand in mine, his voice hardly making its way to my ears. The words didn't register.
Eventually the world came back.
"Vikk?" His shaky words made their way to my brain, warbled and faint. "Please. I don't want to lose you."
"My life isn't worth it Lachlan." I whispered, my voice strained and weak. "I can't keep going anymore. I've tried for so long but I don't have anything in me to keep trying. It's hopeless." I closed my eyes. "I'm hopeless."
He lifted my head from his shoulder, his finger resting delicately under his chin.
"You are not hopeless Vikk." He whispered, his bright blue eyes staring into mine. They were unfairly pretty and I had always been jealous of how amazing his eyes were. "Your life is worth it, I promise you that."
"It's not Lachlan and no matter what you say I'm not going to believe you." He cuddled me close, a tear dripping from his eyes and falling onto my arm.
"Vikk just... please, listen to me for a little bit." He took in a deep and shaky breath. "You are the most amazing person I've ever had the pleasure of meeting and I can't loose you, not now. I know you don't want to be here but I will do everything I can to help you. It won't go away over night."
I listened intently, still unsure of what he was trying to say.
"I-I-" He stumbled over his words. He was crying again.
"Lachy?" I whispered, my voice high and child-like. "Don't cry... please."
He sniffled, his fingers trembling. He could tell I was scared but he was scared too and I knew I couldn't comfort him.
"I know how you feel about me Vikk." He said, starkly, tears still falling from his eyes. I gulped but he gave me a little smile, his fingers pushing a strand of hair behind my ears. "And I feel the same."
"Re-really?" I mumbled, startled.
"Yes." He said, wiping his eyes. He was smiling now. "I love you Vikk and I want to help you. You need time and you need someone by your side. I was to be that person."
This time it was me who was crying, my jaw trembling and my entire body wracked with sobs. Lachlan hugged me tightly, letting me press my head into his shoulder.
"Vikk?" I hummed. "Do you trust me?"
"Of course I trust you." I whispered.
"Will you let me try then? Will you try?" I nodded.
"Yes. I will." He smiled and tilted my face up by placing a finger under my chin.
He kissed me first, lightly and shyly, his lips barely brushing mine because he was so scared to push me. I was the one who actually pushed back, my hand on the back of his head, pulling him closer to me in a much more passionate and fierce kiss.
When we pulled away both of us flushed red and Lachlan looked away. I nestled myself in beside him, one of his hand automatically running through my hair and the other supporting my waist.
"Don't let life get you down Vikky." He whispered. "I'll always be here for you."
Vikklan- Life
Start from the beginning
