Mrs All American - luke

19

L U K E

It's been a long day. I want my bed and like, 15 hours of sleep. Everything's been so hectic lately, with Sam being in the hospital to photoshoots and spending hours in the studio, I might collapse at any moment. Earlier when we had a phone interview with a some magazine - I don't remember the name - we were asked if any of us were taken. And I instantly thought of Sam, but of course I didn't say anything.

I would never tell anyone about Sam. I don't want her to get involved in this type of world I live in, simply because she's too nice. I think it's best if I just keep her as my little secret.

You're not exactly the relationship type. I bet this won't even last.

Even Calum, who is usually the nicest when it comes to these things, knows I will somehow manage to fuck this up. It kind of sucks, but he just knows me that well.

It does suck that everyone is having their doubts, but honestly, I am too. And I'm also scared. I haven't felt something like this in a very long t- no, forget that. I haven't felt this way ever, period, and I don't know how to handle it. It's weird and the fact that I'm bottling this all up isn't helping, but I don't want to say it out loud. I'm terrified about what might happen if I were to accept this.

How the fuck do I manage to let this happen? Things would be a lot easier if I hadn't chased after Sam like I did in the first place. She turned my entire little game into something I can't even understand. Michael warned me, he told me to leave her alone, but I didn't listen. Now I kind of wish I had.

I haven't seen or talked to Sam in about a week because the boys and I have had so much to do. Yesterday I sent her a text letting her know that I've been busy. She says it's okay and that she understands. I'm glad she does, but it's hard not spending time with her. Especially since I know she's been spending time with Dylan.

Sometimes I think I should step out of the picture and let her be with him instead, but the thought honestly makes me sad. I'd never admit this out loud to anyone, but I care about her more than I thought I would. It's driving me crazy, it makes me want to scream.

I'm thinking too much. I'm overthinking this whole situation and turning it into some huge problem when it's nothing. Why I do these things to myself, I wish I knew.

Downstairs I hear laughter. The boys have a few friends over and they're all having dinner and some drinks.

There's a knock on the door and when I go to answer it, it's some girl I don't know. I'm standing between the door and its frame. I think she's some intern that works in the studio, I've seen her a few times.

"Are you coming downstairs?" She asks me and purposely folds her arms in a way so her boobs squish together.

"No," I tell her and step closer to door frame when I notice her eyes wander and trying to get a look into my room.

"Can I come in?" She stands on her toes and wiggles her eyebrows.

"No," I scoff and I don't mean to be rude, but I don't want her in my room. Sam is the only girl who's ever been here and I want it to stay that way. So I give her a wave and slowly shut the door, but see the confused look on her face.

I know it was rude, but I don't really care. So I make sure I lock my door and after a quick shower, I lay in bed after turning the lights off, unable to sleep. Sam's been here so much that the scent of her shampoo is lingering on my pillows. Even when she's not here, it's like she is. I don't know how this girl has managed to take up my every thought, every second of the day, but she has.

Maybe I'm just infatuated with her and I don't like her as much as I think I do. I come to the conclusion that that's bullshit when I find myself sending her a goodnight text.

I manage to fall asleep, but before I do, a question lingers in my head: what the hell has Sam done to me?

a/n: I know this is so disgustingly short and I'm so sorry but I just thought y'all should get some more insight of what goes on in Luke's head / im gonna just say it now, I think this story might be around 40 or 50 chapters long idk / also I'm at work rn and my coworker was like, I'm gonna play a song and she started playing aMNESIA AND I ALMOST DIed / k bye / ps I didn't spell check ok