22. Everything Changes

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Even though there's just a few months left until graduation it still feels like an impossibly long time. That's not necessarily a bad thing, I'm not eager for the rest of high school to fly by just yet, not when I'm finally starting to have fun with it. There's a textbook sitting on the grass beside me, and I know I should finish the homework that's due next period before lunch is over, but I can't bring myself to put in the effort. Instead I'm enjoying the sun and the warm air, which is just another perk of living in a place that doesn't get cold even in the winter. I've spent long enough worrying about my academics, now I want to pay attention to everything else before it's too late.

The two girls I said hi to in the hall earlier actually giggled when we passed, which was super weird, but I guess I'm officially attractive now. That, or maybe everyone's finally realized Grace and I aren't dating now that we don't spend any more time together. There was a brief moment no more than twenty minutes ago where I caught her eye in the cafeteria, but neither of us did anything about it. There was no acknowledgment, I kept right on going. It's not so bad sitting by myself out here, it's kind of a nice break from the monotony of my newly developing social life.

Plus Brent and his buddies have a habit of coming out here after they're done eating to dick around, and I've been watching them for a while now as they throw a football back and forth with no real aim. They pretty much just tease each other and use it as an excuse to roughhouse, but I like seeing him here like this. Of course Brent knows I'm staring, and he's not shy about shooting me a grin from across the yard when his friends aren't looking. I try to smile back, but a shadow appears next to me and I hurry to twist around to see an unwelcomed guest standing there.

"I couldn't help but notice you sitting over here all by yourself, do you mind if I join you?" Ms. Montgomery inquires politely, and I only nod hesitantly after a second because I know she'll just stand there if I don't answer her. She sits very neatly and takes a turn looking at Brent and his friends, causing me to panic. Does she know what we've been up to? I'm nervous, I have no way to know what she's thinking, but she doesn't seem to pay it much mind as she reveals her purpose for ambushing me. "I wanted to talk to you, but I didn't think you'd come to my office if I asked."

"Would I have a choice?" I continue watching the jocks, mostly just so that I don't have to look at her. I already knew I'd be forced to sit through more of her platitudes at some point, I guess I should be grateful that it's taken her this long to get to it.

"You always have a choice, Jonah." She speaks quietly and I can see her watching me intently from the corner of my eye. It's not hard to imagine the million and one bullshit lines she's perfected over the years to deal with unruly students, so I appreciate her decision to level with me instead. "But not every choice is the right one. I'm really worried about you."

"I'm so sick of hearing that. Seriously, why can't everybody just leave me alone?" From the second this conversation started I knew how it would go, so I'm able to be calm despite giving her a response she won't like.

"Do you want me to be honest?" Her tone makes it sound like she's in on some great secret, but this time I don't engage. That doesn't stop her though. "That's just life. You wouldn't believe how many kids I've had the pleasure of meeting throughout my career, each one unique in their own way, but I've never met anyone quite like you. I know you think I'm only saying that because of my relationship with your dad, and maybe you're right, maybe I am a little biased, but I see something in you that I haven't seen before. That's why I asked you to tutor Brent."

"What do you mean?" I had planned to act as disinterested as possible, but she disarms me with a simple truth I hadn't seen coming. She wanted me to tutor him because he was about to fail, right?

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