killer, gbd (EDITING)

37

My impatience extends the wait as I begin to slowly pace in front of Dani, my arms crossed tight over my chest. Dani's hand reaches for my elbow and he lets out a soft laugh. "He's just a guy, not a god. Try not to worry so much." I roll my eyes at him again, but listen nonetheless.

Then I see them, first it's Kennedy, followed by Cooper and Bennett, Murph and Grant. Then it's him, it's Grayson. His hair flops down over his forehead, his hand pushing it from his face so that he can look up at the tall building that Dani and I stand in.

I take in the details of his being while he stands there motionless, lips parted and head tilted back. An almost curious look hidden behind tired eyes. The usual black sweater hangs from his strong shoulders. I watch mesmerized as he clenches his jaw and drops his gaze.

They all start to make their way through the doors and up the stairs to where Dani and I stand. Murph sees me and a big smile comes to his face. "Hey!" He runs up the stairs, taking several at a time. I open my arms to him and he pulls me into a tight hug. "I wasn't sure what to call you." Murph laughs, his voice low and direct into my ear.

"Mrs. Herring." I laugh, smiling widely at how kind his energy is towards everything. My eyes go to Kennedy and she sweetly smiles at me. When Murph let's me go, she walks into my empty arms, but doesn't stay there as long as Murph did.

"Great to see you again." She walks past me to the front desk and I am left staring into Grayson's piercing eyes. Our gazes lock and I find myself unable to look away. In his eyes I see reflection of my own feelings, longing, vulnerability, pain, even fear. My smile quickly fades, my lips slightly parting. Grayson's eyes flick to Dani, then back to me. His jaw tightens harshly and he walks past me with his eyes glued to the floor. For only a moment out bodies are so close. But even with the closeness of his presence, I still feel that his is miles away, unreachable.

"That was him... wasn't it?" Dani asks.

I take a deep breath a nod. "Yep, that was him." My tense shoulders drop and my eyes are directed back to the new recruits that walk through the doors. I recognize each face from their file and smile down at them. One by one they walk up and shake my hand, greeting me with their youthful smiles.

When I don't have anyone to put on a pleasant show for I turn to Dani with furrowed brows and a sick stomach. "Are you okay?" He asks, reaching a hand out to my shoulder.

"Ya," I nod. "Just feeling a bit sick." I tell him with my lips pressed together.

"Vomit sick or I need water and some place to sit sick." He asks, trying to get me to look at him, but my eyes and drawn like magnets back to Grayson's head.

"Maybe both." I say, Grayson smiles at the lady behind the counter and thanks her before heading to the elevator. I catch one last glimpse of him before the elevator doors close. Once he's out of sight, I can finally make eye contact with Dani.

"Can we go back to the room please." I ask, placing a hand over my stomach.

"Of course." Dani puts a hand on the small of my back and walks with me to the elevators. When the doors close, I lean up against the wall and close my eyes. I'm a fucking idiot. Is all I can think of, self doubt taking over my mind completely.

The doors open and I walk out behind Dani, but end up walking in front of him as near our room. Unfortunately, I catch sight of Grayson ducking into the room right across from ours. "Fuck." I grumble to myself. I slide the keycard to get into the room and rush to the bed once inside, leaving Dani to close the door.

I lay flat and cover my eyes with my hands. "Why am I reacting like a teenager? This is ridiculous." I claim.

"You haven't seen him for a little, you have a lot of built up shit going on, you'll be over it soon. Maybe try talking to him and the tension will subside." Dani suggests.