His, Eternally [18+]

Chapter Twenty-Four: Assertive

Indie's Point of View:

I tried to keep myself distracted from the void which was my mind, but alas, no avail. I walked home in the cold night like I had done so many times before, my pace urgent and my arms wrapped tightly around myself, my teeth chattering slightly. The wind was strong, as it always was this time of night, pushing the loose locks of hair behind me. I was having an internal argument with myself, not knowing whether I should just go home and play the damsel in distress, waiting for him to come to me and make everything better; or if I should go to him and confront him about the anxieties that lurked in my mind. I clenched my fist tightly, frustrated by the mixed feelings that felt so persistent when thinking of Thaddeus. I could not just sit here and wonder about him, wonder if I meant anything to him — wonder if he viewed me as anything more than just a sex toy.

I grabbed my phone out from the back pocket of my jeans, breathing hot air on my fingers to warm them as I fumbled through my contacts, trying to find if I had Thaddeus' number. I knew that he had left his number on a post-it note on my fridge; discreetly. And, because I had began to develop feelings for him, I had started to want to call him — despite me being way too fearful of rejection. I shivered in the cold dark, approaching my gravel driveway whilst texting him simultaneously.

'I need to talk to you.' I hit send, my heart beating a mile per minute as I stayed on the conversation. My heart dropped even further into the pits of my stomach once I saw the 'read' receipt. I walked into my house, my teeth chattering from both the nervousness and coldness of the Colorado air. My phone was laying face up on my kitchen counter, as I paced nervously awaiting his response. There was no typing symbol, making me more anxious.

Before I had the chance to double text him and basically nag him until he replied, I heard my door swing open. I jumped, clutching my phone to my chest as I peered around the corner. It was Thaddeus, in all of his handsome glory. His stature was tall, as per usual, illuminated by the moon in his typical black jeans, white v-neck, and leather jacket. There was stubble that scattered his jaw, something I noticed that had grown back unusually quickly. His shoulders looked especially broad when I childishly admired his body, despite feeling angry and hurt because of him. Snap out of it, Indie. He's a playboy! I thought to myself. But then it hit me, how the hell did he get here so fast? Was it just a wolf gene to be this quick?

"Hi." The words felt cold tumbling from my mouth, and as much as something inside of me pulled him to run and jump into his strong arms for one of his warm hugs, but I refused to let myself do so. He was so intoxicating — even when I felt hurt by the assumptions I had made about him just wanting me for sex.

"Indie." He breathed out, closing the door behind him. His hand was holding his phone, the screen bright and illuminating my mahogany floor beneath him. I stood still, backing away as he took a step forward, his face falling when realizing my coldness towards him. He eyebrows furrowed in confusion, and hurt splayed his face. How was he the one feeling hurt?

"This whole time, you wanted to just fuck me?" I blurted out, not feeling ashamed of my assertiveness; but rather proud of it. I scowled at him, crossing my arms over my chest in a defensive matter as I viewed his eyebrows lift in confusion. He seemed lost for words, making my heart pulse vigorously. I was right. Only seconds were passing as I watched his facial expressions change, looking confused and dumbfounded by my words. However, it felt like an eternity as I tapped my foot against the ground impatiently. I needed to know what I was to him. I was not going to be dragged around and used like a rag-doll.

"You know what, Thaddeus? I don't know who you take me for, I don't know if you've just manipulated your way into making me have feelings for you, but this isn't okay. This is hurtful." I choked out, digging my nails into the denim that covered my arms.

"What would make you think I would do that, ever?!" He seethed, him face suddenly going from concerned to angry. The vein in his neck was convulsing, and even in the dim shade of the night I could tell his eyes were obsidian black.

"Don't you dare get all angry-wolf-boy on me, mister!" I raised my voice, suddenly wanting to cry at how angry he was with me. I felt so weak, so pathetic due to the fact that he could always dig up such strong emotions from me. I knew hardly nothing of him, though I continued to fall at his feet like a lost puppy in need of a home. It was utterly frustrating, he brought out the worst and the best in me — something so hard for me to fathom.

His chest was rising and falling at a rapid rate, I could hear him inhale sharply as I saw him close his eyes. He pinched the bridge of his nose, and I could immediately tell by his change in energy that he was trying to control the anger he so badly wanted to express. But why was he angry? If he was the one who was only using me for sex, why was he so mad?

"As soon as I walked into work today... Annie looked at me, and said I had a 'sex glow'", I scrunched my nose, embarrassed from the childish words I was speaking. "And then she looked at my neck, and told me that she was looking for something... Like hickeys, I assume. And she knows I've been hanging out with you, or that I have a really fucking weird soft spot for you," I choked on my words, focusing on my breathing so that I wouldn't stutter like an idiot as he listened to me with attentiveness. "Is that what you have been trying to get at this whole time, to get in my pants?" My voice cracked at the end.

His features noticeably softened as my voice changed from assertive and angry, to quiet and hurt. The crease between his brows eased, along with the vein running down his neck. He didn't look angry, anymore. Instead, there was something gleaming underneath his dark eyes that hinted that he was hiding something.

"I need to tell you something, little one."