The Girl in the Hoodie

49

"Really?" Max whispers.

"Yeah." Dylan nods. "If it weren't for you, we wouldn't have been friends with Nevaeh."

Max smiles slightly. "I have a confession."

Dylan raises an eyebrow. "What is it?"

"I kind of had a little, tiny, itty-bitty crush on Nevaeh when we first met her." He admits shyly. "It was only for a little while, it went away after I realised Nevaeh and Noah were made for each other and, you know, I was pretty in love with Megan."

Dylan purses his lips before speaking. "She made me question my sexuality for a little bit when I first saw her face."

"She made you question if you were straight?" Max looks at him. "That's a new one."

Dylan shrugs before looking at me. "Sorry, Noah, your girlfriend's just that gorgeous."

I shake my head, chuckling slightly. "Believe me, I know."

"Please don't kill us." Max quickly rushes out.

"Don't worry. I'm not mad." I sigh. "If you had told me this three years ago, then yeah, I would have been mad. But now? I'm not. Not when there's other things to be mad about. Like how bloody unfair life is."

Max and Dylan both look down at my statement and we sit in silence again.

I let out a breath through my nose, pushing my glass to the side as I make a wall with my arms on the countertop, resting my head on it.

I close my eyes and all I can see is Nevaeh's grinning face.

My eyes snap open and I take a deep breath.

I have to let her go.

But I can't.

{But you only need the light when it's burning low
Only miss the sun when it starts to snow
Only know you love her when you let her go
Only know you've been high when you're feeling low
Only hate the road when you're missing home
Only know you love her when you let her go }

I sit outside Nevaeh's hospital room while the doctor checks her vitals, and Max, Dylan, Megan, Danny and mum are getting us all food from the cafeteria.

I feel someone sit down next to me and look up to find Mila, Nevaeh's aunt.

"She really loves you, you know." Mila states before looking at me.

"She tell you that?" I question, rather curiously.

Mila smiles softly, shaking her head slightly. "She didn't have to."

"You know, the first time we kissed, I accidentally pulled her hood off and she punched me in the face." I chuckle slightly at the memory.

"That she told me." Mila laughs softly. "She didn't mean to. She panicked and apparently, her first instinct was to throw a punch. You're lucky she didn't break your nose."

We sit in silence for a moment.

"I really love your niece." I suddenly state, looking at her. "She's my home. Whenever I'm around her, I feel safe and that nothing can go wrong, as bloody cheesy as that sounds."

Mila smiles softly, placing a hand on my shoulder. "I'm glad she found someone that loves her as much as you do."

I have to let her go.

But I can't.

{ Staring at the ceiling in the dark
Same old empty feeling in your heart
'Cause love comes slow and it goes so fast
Well you see her when you fall asleep
But never to touch and never to keep
'Cause you loved her too much and you dived too deep }

I lay in the hospital bed with Nevaeh cuddled into my side as she sleeps.

I stare up at the ceiling as we lie in the dark, thoughts and memories rushing through my head.

All the times she put me in my place instead of putting up with my bullshit.

All the times she told me she loves me.

All the times she gave me her beautiful smile.

All the times she acted like everything was okay when it wasn't.

What happens when she...leaves?

As much as I should regret getting close to her, I don't.

I don't regret anything.

I don't regret getting close to her, I don't regret kissing her, and I sure as hell don't regret telling her I love her.

I love her too much and I dove too deep.

I have to let her go.

But I can't.

{ Well you only need the light when it's burning low
Only miss the sun when it starts to snow
Only know you love her when you let her go
Only know you've been high when you're feeling low
Only hate the road when you're missing home
Only know you love her when you let her go
And you let her go... }

{ Oh, oh, woah, oh, oh
And you let her go
Oh, oh, woah, oh, oh
When you let her go
Whoa }

I'm going to miss her. So, so much.

I have to let her go.

But I can't.

{ 'Cause you only need the light when it's burning low
Only miss the sun when it starts to snow
Only know you love her when you let her go
Only know you've been high when you're feeling low
Only hate the road when you're missing home
Only know you love her when you let her go
'Cause you only need the light when it's burning low
Only miss the sun when it starts to snow
Only know you love her when you let her go
Only know you've been high when you're feeling low
Only hate the road when you're missing home
Only know you love her when you let her go
And you let her go... }

"Noah?" She whispers weakly.

"Yeah, Carter?" I look down at her.

She lifts her hand and touches my lips softly. "You have to let me go."

I can't.