Lost Love

Chapter 28: Catalaya's POV

5 Months Later

I sit in the car waiting for him to leave. I haven't seen him since the shooting. That was five months ago. Three months of healing and being stuck in the hospital two months ignoring his calls, texts and random pop ups to my cousin's place. Now I sit in the car waiting for my cousin Tyler to come back so we can leave and get ready for this surprise party he's been telling me about. It's almost Thanksgiving and this man wants to party. All I wanna do is cuddle under the covers and ignore the world. Tyler forces me to go out with him every so often but for the most part he lets me chill. I watch as Justin walks from the store to his black Cadillac. He has a driver now and security. Tyler told me he tried to get me to have security, but Tyler was against it. As long as I wasn't with him I didn't need it. Justin looks good though. His waves are on point as usual he's wearing a suit today but his eyes, they look tired. Like he hasn't slept in ages. I miss him, I shouldn't though but he was the love of my life. I sigh, lean back and close my eyes. I thought I no longer loved him after all it's been five months right? He stopped trying to see me after the fourth month. He had other business to handle anyway I guess. Probably other women to handle too. I think to myself as a few tears roll down my cheek. I quickly wipe them away and sigh. Then suddenly I hear a light knock on my window. I open my eyes to see him standing there as if he's seen the very thing that he's been looking for all his life. I shake my head no instinctively.

"Please."

I sigh and since I don't have the keys to the car I can't roll down the window so my only option is to get out. I wave for him to move back and he does as I open the car door. Once I'm fully out and standing I suddenly feel exposed, naked and small. I forgot how tall he is only seeing glimpses of him here and there as we still seem to shop at the same stores. I look down at my shoes and wrap my sweater tighter around my body. I feel inferior and still broken and hurt and in the same breath I know that I still miss him even though being with him was ridiculous and risky as hell he still has my heart. Yet, I can't bring myself to look at him as he stands in front of me now. Neither of us say anything he just inches closer to me.

"I...I'm sorry."

I look up at him and into his tired eyes and I can see the sadness and pain in them but what catches my eye is the love that's still there. It hurts to know he still loves me after everything that's happened. I sigh and look back down at my lightly worn Vans not expecting to have even gotten out of the car much less say anything to him. After all the scenes I've concocted in my head and planning out what I was going to say the next time I came face to face with him now I stand here as the chill of the fall air engulfs me and makes me come to the realization that I've got nothing. I just shake my head and turn to get back in the car but he stops me. His hand wraps around my wrist and suddenly my mind flashes back to us dancing at Marcus and Ant's engagement dinner and then again to when I would massage his head as he laid on me and he would lazily take my hand and lay kisses on it all the way up to my wrist and back again.

"I love you still Catalaya and I miss you. I...I miss us."

I sigh and beg my eyes to not start forming tears. I don't turn around I just stand there and listen. We probably look ridiculous standing in the parking lot like this but we have history. We haven't talked about any of it.

"I...fuck I still need you baby girl."

"Justin."

"I know, you ain't mine anymore but to me you're still the only woman I'll ever love. Ain't no room in this heart to love nobody else. To form another connection with nobody else."

Ugh I hate this man how is he making me cry. I sniffle and slowly turn around and look him in the eyes.

"You never loved me."