Happily Ever After?? (Third in the Through The Dark And Free series)

Chapter 8

Julie rolled her eyes again. "Really, Panda?" She looked over at Amanda. "So, what exactly do we have to talk about?"

"So, how does it feel?" Amanda eyed Julie to see if she could gauge her reaction.

"How does what feel?" Julie asked yawning and leaning back against the couch.

Amanda groaned. "Really? How does it feel to have finally agreed to move in with Harry? It's been a LOOOOOONG time coming." Amanda made sure to over exaggerate the word long in her statement.

"Didn't seem like it to me." Julie sighed. "Panda, do we really have to talk about this?"

"Uh, yeah." Amanda was now more curious as to how JJ was feeling. "What's going on, JJ? And please just tell me, we don't have much time before we have to go to the funeral home."

"We should be concentrating on Marcus right now. This can wait." Julie was uncomfortable. She'd tried to talk to Harry about all of this and he hadn't understood. She didn't really expect Amanda to understand either.

"JJ. Just talk to me. Please." Amanda pulled one leg up and turned to face Julie. She moved a piece of hair off of Julie's face. "You look tired. So, I'm guessing that means you're thinking really hard about something. Or fighting something."

"Ok, stop guessing." Julie let out a breath.

"Only if you tell me." Amanda waved her hand towards Julie.

Julie shook her head slowly. "Every time I say something, someone thinks I've changed my mind about moving in with Harry."

"By someone I'm guessing you mean Harry?" Amanda figured there would be something, but maybe there was more than she'd even thought.

"Yes. Harry." Julie put her hands over her eyes and then sat forward a little.

"JJ, speak, please." Amanda all but begged.

"It's just, most of the time I know this is the right thing to do. Most of the time I know it's time, and I know it's what I want." Julie shook her head again. "But there's always that question. The wonder. If it's really right. If I should ever make that decision again."

Amanda put her hand on JJ's arm. "What decision exactly?"

"Moving in with anyone." Julie took another deep breath and let it out slowly again. "The last time I chose to move in with someone things went bad. Things were good before I moved in with Johnny. And that one decision changed my life for the worse. Expectations changed. I wasn't able to be myself anymore. I was just an extension of him. I had to tell him where I was at all times, and I couldn't be late. He didn't want me to go places without him. And I know that Harry isn't Johnny. I already get that argument. But, it changes everything."

"Of course, it changes things. But it doesn't have to be for the worse." Amanda looked at JJ. She saw JJ's face drop. "I hear you. I do."

"Do you?" Julie looked at Amanda and tried to stop the tears in her eyes. "Because this is frustrating. I want this. I love him. But I'm scared that expectations are going to change so much. I'm afraid I don't know how to be a live in girlfriend. I'm afraid if he and I somehow don't work, I won't have a place to go."

"First, the two of you have been great together. The two of you get each other." Amanda moved and laid her head on JJ's shoulder. "Second, he has wanted nothing more than for you to realize that since the wedding. Maybe even before. And third, you're my best friend always, and you will never be without a place to stay, JJ."

"I can't keep living with you forever, Panda. Harry has been great. He's been patient and understanding. But he built me a house. A perfect, beautiful, quiet, country house." Julie shook her head. "Who does that just to get someone to move in with them?"