Chapter 40

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I flick the stations trying to find a clear signal.

"Your not going to get anything till a bit up here" he snaps out

"So he does speak" I roll my eyes at the fact he's only just started talking to me again, earning me a huff in return

"It's not even bad" I try to play it down

But he's back to ignoring me

I hand him a tissue that I found floating around the back with everything else this car had in it.

He snatches it from me as he presses it to his head soaking up the blood.

"This car is fucken bad luck" he groans out

I'm not convinced it's the car I just really shouldn't have tried to drive the way I saw Ethan do it.

"I might have missed a turn" he says carefully focusing on the path we are taking

"We have been driving for like a week already how are we not there yet?"

He looks to me 'Don't you dare' written all over his face as I grab another tissue pressing it to my cheek and biting my tongue.

We continue on as I watch the headlights bouncing of the trees with the soft glow of the moon above. Wishing I could wind up the window but there's no windows left to block the cool breeze.

I wonder if Ethan's mad at me or what he's been thinking this whole time. I feel like shit for leaving him I shouldn't have done it. I shouldn't have done it to any of them. I'm a Luna and I really need to start acting like one. I want to be there for Ethan I want to be there for my pack. God how am I suppose to fix this. I've hurt so many just because I couldn't cope.

maybe this is why he never shows weakness, never falls a part? He's always so strong like nothing affects him. He would have to know the domino affect of what happens if he loses it. It wouldn't just be the few close to him like me that are burdened but the whole pack. God what I have done.

"I'm sorry Jason" I whisper

I'm so fucken sorry

"It's just a car" he snaps

No I smile lightly

"No, I'm sorry for turning my back on our alpha, turning my back on you ... our pack" I look to him as my words fall honestly

He smiles at me and it reaches his eyes for the first time in weeks

"You finally get it now"

I nod my head

It bigger than me it's bigger than our alpha it's our pack the lives it holds they all depend on us for leadership, support and most importantly protection. I failed them. I failed my mate.

"I guess now since we are finally being honest" he gives me a weak smile

"Yeah" I caution

"We're leaking fuel" he reveals his irritation forgotten

"What?"

"We don't have much of a tank left.. our spare drums were ruined"

I cringe

That's my fault. When will I stop fucking everything up

"Will we make it?" I ask hopeful

"Should at least .. maybe close to the border"

I nod my head as I peak to the mfuel gauge it's below a quarter tank as it drops again.

"That's dropping pretty fast"

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