CAUGHT IN AN ACT ♂ tk.

- 34 one week

Jeongguk is caught off guard, but only for a moment. “It was always in the back of my mind. However, that night we spent together on your previous birthday– I think it’s then when I realized,” he says, licking foam off his lips and then leaning on the table, forearms propped up on it as he looks Taehyung in the eyes. “You were my first in many things, Kim Taehyung. And love is no exception.”

Of course, Taehyung remains silent for a moment, letting the words sink in. “That may be the problem, Guk,” he speaks, “You’ve only been like that with me and maybe– maybe you need to meet other people. Out there, there is someone who deserves your far more than me.”

“I’ve been with other people, Tae,” Jeongguk sighs, leaning back into the chair, “Two years into debut, you wanted to stop what we’re doing. So we did– for two more years in fact. I’ve been with many people all over the globe, Taehyung– I had broken hearts and got mine broken, I had drunken and sober hookups in the backs of regular and gay clubs, abroad and here and–” He pauses, tonguing the inside of his cheek like he’s thinking and then he laughs lightly as if he came to a realization. Jeongguk looks back at Taehyung, smiling, “I realized I love you when I held you after all of that.”

“You–” Taehyung begins, but then goes into silence once again.

“I missed you so much in those two years, Taehyung,” Jeongguk sighs, glancing aside for a moment, “I mean, when we were still trainees, the first birthday of yours that we spent together, you took my first kiss. And two years later – two years into my debut – on the same day, I lost my virginity with you. And then you disappeared from my life, saying I need to meet new people. I did that and tried to forget you, but… I always missed you, even if I was with someone else. And when I got to hold you again– I realized I’m in love.”

And really, what can someone say when a heart is being poured out to them? Remembering the memories they shared, what happened when they were still so young, when they met as Big Hit trainees. When Jeongguk was only fifteen and Taehyung was seventeen and they were awkward teens that didn’t know what to do with themselves or each other. The innocent kiss Taehyung gave Jeongguk when the younger handed him a poorly wrapped birthday present.

The memories of the first night they shared together – they decided not to do it on Jeongguk’s birthday, as Taehyung felt it would shift it’s real importance to it being sexual. Instead, on his own birthday, he was the gift Jeongguk didn’t receive earlier. And the sex was sloppy, quickly over, uncoordinated and awkward. But it was sweet, warm and pleasurable and Taehyung wouldn’t change that experience for the world.

So, why does his heart ache so much? He’s so desperate to be in love, yet he feels like he can’t do it. Like it’s out of his reach.

“So, just to make it clear–” Taehyung says, then sips on his coffee. Jeongguk’s sharp gaze is on him and Taehyung fidgets for a moment, “This is not just for the sex, is it?”

“Gosh, Taehyung, no,” Jeongguk denies, shaking his head, “Don’t get me wrong, your body is breathtaking. And most of the time, I don’t think of it as sexual. I love all the little moles you have scattered over your body like stars. I love your collarbones, your gorgeous thighs and hips and those long legs, that go on for miles. And of course, your ass is phenomenal, how can I skip that,” he laughs a bit.