The Promised

Eleven

Avery takes me home after hanging out with his bandmates for a couple of hours. When we get to his floor, I give him a light kiss on the cheek and continue on to my apartment.

I fall asleep wondering about what Avery said about celestial lovers. Lovers meant to be, no matter what may come. It seems like a fantasy. A fantasy I can never let myself hope or dream of. But tonight I dream.

I dream of lovers who have lived thousands of lives and have faced countless trials, always finding one another. Their souls bound for eternity. Their very spirits call to each other, even if they're unaware.

Throughout work this Friday morning, I'm nervous. I've spent most of the week with Avery, but tonight, I had anticipated all week. A real planned date. Just the two of us. My heart races as the scenarios play in my head.

Get it together, Al! It's just dinner. You've shared meals together. This is no different.

It's so different though. It's as if something is coming. Something I'm not ready for.

Is it a premonition?

More than once my hands fidget on my phone as I debate canceling. I debate packing all my shit and getting far away from Avery and the things he does to my heart, body, mind, and soul.

A thought plays in my head, and it scares me half to death.

Perhaps I love him...

"Now you really are insane, Al!" I scold myself out loud.

Leo strolls over. "Are you having a nervous breakdown?"

"Maybe, Leo. Fuck! I can't do this!"

"Al, calm down! What's wrong?" He drags me to the back of the store by my arm. "Talk to me."

"I've got to get away, Leo. Far away."

"Why, Al?" He asks me. I can sense his concern.

"That's the only way I'll be safe," I reply as I pace.

"From the Sons of the Apocalypse?"

"Well, yeah. From them too."

"Wait. They aren't your primary fear and concern? What is then?" He's confused.

I look down sheepishly.

"Oh, give me a fucking break! Is this about Avery?" Leo guesses.

"Perhaps..."

"Al, you're right. You're fucking insane! Certifiable! He's just a man!" He grabs me by the shoulders and stops me from pacing.

"No, Max is right. Avery is dangerous. He's dangerous because I ignore my instincts when I'm with him." That's never been a good thing. It's always led me into trouble.

"No, you ignore your head when you're with him and follow your heart. That scares the shit out of you."

Okay, so perhaps Leo is right, but my head is what's helped me survive all these years. It's what's kept me safe. Always thinking with my heart, got me involved with Jeremy, my one and only boyfriend.

If I had used my head, I would have seen all he was doing was taking advantage of my fragile loneliness. He paid me attention when everyone else avoided me. It didn't matter how pretty or thin I was. I was the freak who saw ghosts and knew what everyone was thinking. People avoided me like a leper.

Not Jeremy, though. He saw I craved being loved. That I craved a connection with someone other than Max and Trish. Seventeen, and no one had ever kissed me.