1.7 - Trust issues

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''So did you want to meet my band today?'' Luke asked between bites of cereal.

Luke and Mary were currently sitting at the kitchen table and eating an all-time breakfast, cereal.

Mary only nodded as a response since she still had some cereal and milk in her mouth.

''Great,'' Luke said with a grin, ''We're banding today.''

''You're what?'' Mary asked, raising her eyebrows.

''Banding,'' Luke trailed off, ''you know, do things with the band.'' He finished off as if it was the most obvious thing ever.

''Okay..'' Mary said stretching out the word, ''whatever you say.''

Luke pouted and reached out for the milk that was across from him.

''Oh don't be a baby.'' Mary laughed out.

''I'm not a baby.'' Luke argued, he was eighteen for fucks sake, a baby can't be eighteen.

Mary though that Luke's reaction was hilarious and made him seem even more as a baby.

After a couple minutes of silence Luke looked over at Mary who had finished eating her breakfast. He thought that she looked like she was in deep thoughts. Her vision was focused onto his hands,

''What are you thinking about?'' Luke asked shyly, pushing his now empty bowl of cereal to the side.

Mary just shrugged, she wasn't really thinking. She just felt so hypnotised by Luke and all the small things that she liked so dearly about him.

Mary took softly one of Luke's hands in hers and caressed the palm of his hand with her thumb.

She traced the creases of his hand and made different patters, his hand was as soft as the last time she had held it.

''I like this,'' Mary whispered still touching his hand , ''I like this very much.''

Mary's tracing and her words sent chills through Luke's entire body, goosebumps forming along his arms.

He had to remind himself of his promise time after time to not just go too far with Mary at this very moment.

Luke fed his mind with things that made his promise seem more reasonable: 1. They had only known each other for a few days, 2. He didn't want Mary to think that he was doing this for the wrong reason, 3. Mary was still out of his league.

The table was small, far too small for Luke's liking at the moment. He was still having a problem with trusting himself and his choices at the moment.

The small table made Mary be able to reach more of Luke, she was now tracing the veins along his arm.

''These as well.'' Mary whispered looking down, following the motions of her fingers.

Luke gulped, he kept repeating his arguments; few days, wrong reason, out of league, over and over again, screwing his eyes shut and taking deep breaths.

Mary's hand was now traveling up to Luke's shoulders. She really didn't want anything out of this. She just wanted Luke to know how she felt since she didn't understand her own feelings quite much.

She knew that Luke wanted to wait, though she didn't understand why, and she respected that with all of her heart.

The moment that Mary's delicate index finger caressed Luke's neck and the vein that was a bit popped out Luke flinched away from Mary's touch and got up from the chair.

Mary's confused expression told Luke that she didn't understand his actions. Mary raised her eyebrow as if saying; what was that for?.

''Okay.'' Mary breathed out when she realized that Luke wasn't going to give her an explanation since he just kept standing there next to the chair looking down at the floor as if in shame.

Luke rubbed the back of his neck and considered what he was supposed to say.

''Maybe I should go home.'' Mary said whilst standing up from the chair she was sitting on.

Luke started panicking, if she left him now she would probably never want to see him again.

So when Mary walked past Luke he put a hand on her shoulder to stop her from moving.

''No,'' Luke said shaking his head, ''Don't leave.''

''But-'' Mary started but was interrupted by Luke.

''It's just that I don't trust myself,'' He began trailing off, ''I was just afraid of the consequences of you touching me like that.'' Luke mumbled, not really knowing if what he said was understandable.

''What consequences?'' Mary asked, ''I'd never force you into anything.''

''I know that you'd never do anything,'' He said, his voice breaking at each word, ''but I'd probably do something.''

Luke stopped talking and looked at Mary for once. (Since he had looked at the floor the whole time.)

Mary was confused, if Luke wanted to do it then what was stopping him?

''I,'' Luke trailed off, ''don't trust myself.''

Luke brushed Mary's left cheek with the back of his fingers.

''But you can trust me.'' Mary whispered, looking deep into Luke's breathtaking, blue eyes.

-

I've tried to finish writing this chapter for so long, so I hope you like it.

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