My Goth Cowboy (BXB) REWRITTEN VERSION

Chapter Eleven

(Rain's P.O.V.)

Jacob seems to be pretty comfortable with his therapy today even though he has three strangers watching and asking questions. I think being around Merlin helps keep him distracted. Ever since his first day here five months ago he's loved being with that horse. Seeing how relaxed he is calmed me down when I was still heated from the situation with those girls. It makes me happy and proud seeing how far he's come. If that situation would have happened a few months ago I don't think he would be so calm and collected even if he still didn't know it partially involved him. The main reason I got so worked up is that they were making fun of Jacob. Who cares about someone's hair color anyway? I think his red hair is really awesome and unique.

Dad had Johnny, Andy, and Ellie step outside for a bit while Pa and him talk to Jacob about how things are going at home and school. I can't help with this part so I stand back and listen to what he has to say. He's brushing Merlin while he speaks which helps keep him calm and focused.

Pa hands Dad his tablet for taking notes and walks over to me. "You should take this time to talk to the class. Learn a few things about them and why they're interested in psychology," he says.

"Do I really have to?" I mumble. I've been thinking about talking to Johnny just to try to help old wounds, but the thought of actually doing it makes me anxious. Maybe asking a few simple questions as Pa said could be an icebreaker.

"If you hate the idea that much then no." I let out a dramatic sigh and Pa gives me a knowing look.

"Text me when you want us back in." He nods at me and I head outside to see Ellie sitting on the fence while Johnny and Andy are just leaning on it.

"Oh, my god a huge one is coming up to us," Andy says nervously as Sullivan trots over. Johnny lets out a laugh and I can't help but smile.

"Relax, man, you're behind a fence and he's not going to hurt you anyway. Sullivan acts like a big baby," Johnny says. The way he looks at Sully tells me he really does miss being around horses. It adds to the confusion as to why he decided to ditch me. At least if we were still friends he could have visited and seen them. Maybe it wasn't worth it to him because he would have to keep putting up with me?

Clearing my throat I ask, "What made you guys want to learn about psychology?" Everyone jumps at not noticing I was even standing here.

"Jeez, you scared me, dude," Andy says with his hand on his chest. I let out an awkward laugh and rub the back of my neck.

"Sorry about that. I have an act for sneaking up on people without being noticed." Johnny is looking at the ground but I can tell he's smiling. I used to scare him all the time by accident. I think the funniest time it happened was when he told me to meet him at the stream during summer break and I made him fall in just by greeting him from behind.

"No kidding, you're like a dang ninja," Andy jokes.

"So, you were asking something?" Ellie says as she gets down off the fence.

"I just wanted to know why you guys chose to take psychology?" All three of them look like they're thinking really hard. Damn, is it that hard of a question?

(Johnny's P.O.V.)

Rain's question makes me think about why I chose to take the class. Of course, I have an interest in the subject and I would like to pursue a career with it, but what sparked that in the first place?

When Rain and I used to talk about his troubles and how he was doing mentally, it made me feel good to try and help him battle what he was going through. It makes me wonder if I really deserve to have a career with psychology after what I did to Rain. I want to help people but all I did was hurt someone I cared about for selfish reasons.

"I honestly took the class because Johnny signed up for it," Andy says with a shrug. "But after a few weeks, I really started to enjoy it. The work is tough since I had no previous knowledge of anything but now that I actually like learning about it I don't struggle so much. I may not do much with everything I learned after high school, but it gives me more skills in life."

"That's pretty cool that you found something you enjoy through a friend's interest even if you don't think you'll do much with it," Rain says. He glances at me for a second and I swear I saw a flash of pain in his eyes. After being betrayed by me and now seeing me here with my new best friend must be a bitch to deal with for him. Rain is a lot stronger now, there's no doubt about that, but even the toughest people have weak spots.

"I joined because my mom made me," Ellie says. "She's a doctor and wanted me to focus on something health wise since I got such good grades in health class freshman year. I don't mind the work, but it's not something I get into. I think the only time I'm into something psychological is when I read about or do reports on serial killers."

Well, that's kind of shocking. Ellie seems like such an innocent girl even though she hung out with Bridget. Everybody has a dark side though.

"That's awesome! I actually did a report on modern-day cannibalism for an assignment," Rain says.

That's even more shocking. Rain never even watched horror movies when I wanted to because they creeped him out too much. Now he's doing his assignments on gruesome stuff?

"That's kind of creepy," Andy whispers to me. I hit his side with my elbow and he makes an 'oof' sound. "It's not a bad thing..." he mumbles.

"What about you?" I look up and see Rain staring right at me. I can tell he's having a hard time keeping eye contact. "You didn't seem interested in mental health four years ago." I can't read his expression at all but I know it's not a good one.

I don't know if he means I was never into the subject when he knew me or if it's because I didn't care about his mental health. Even if he didn't mean it that way it's still the way I'm going to take it.

Andy looks back and forth between Rain and me as if he's waiting to see if he'll have to step in to help. I mentally sigh and decide it's now or never to talk to actually talk to Rain without me having to strike up the conversation first.

"I joined the class because I remembered how much I enjoy being apart of the solution to helping a problem not many people can see."

I was a dick my first two years of high school. I only hung out with people who I thought were cool enough and I never stopped to think about others with Andy as an exception. When we were signing up for our junior year classes, I saw psychology was an option and it kind of relit the sparks I had for wanting to make people feel good about themselves. I stopped acting like I was better than everybody else, but I was still an ass a lot of the time.

Rain looks taken back by my answer. He looks away from me and mumbles, "I'm surprised you still say that." Ellie isn't even paying attention to us really so she didn't hear it, but I know Andy did. I just want to explain myself to Rain. Even if he doesn't forgive me, I want him to know nothing about him was the problem.

"Hey, uh, can we maybe talk?" I ask nervously. Andy smiles proudly at me for finally speaking up.

Rain doesn't say anything as he looks past me at the field of horses. I can tell he's debating on what to say. Before I can get an answer, Rain's phone dings and he takes it out of his pocket to check it.

"You can go back to observing now." With that, he turns his heels and motions for us to follow him without another word.

It's totally understandable that he won't talk to me, but seeing him blow me off like that kind of hurt. God, if him doing that makes my heart hurt I can't imagine the pain he felt when I stopped returning his texts and calls. I mean I expected him to not want anything to do with me and it still feels like someone stabbed my chest. Being ignored by your only friend of thirteen years after making a promise to stay in touch must have been full-on torture.

*This chapter is boring haha I hope you guys like it though! Don't forget to leave a comment and a vote to give some feedback! Thanks for reading! I love you all! <3*