Temptation [A Young Writer's Prize Submission]

Secrets

Chapter Forty Three

If I give away all I have, and if I deliver up my body to be burned, but have not love, I gain nothing. Love is patient and kind; love does not envy or boast; it is not arrogant or rude. It does not insist on its own way; it is not irritable or resentful

1 Corinthians 13: 3-5

Everything was falling into place now – I wasn’t deluded, as I’d feared. They were the same person; real flesh and blood, packaged into the man I’d pointlessly evaded.

Lucien’s determination to have me was also explained – if he’d been saving my life since I’d stepped out in front of that train, and at every opportunity afterwards, it made sense that he wanted to get close to me now. I really was special – more important to him than the other girls he’d had and discarded.

Lucien held my gaze carefully, his hands tightening around me. I used the feel of him to centre me; I wasn’t sure if I’d fall to the floor if he let me go.

“Mercy…” his voice trailed off as my hands – of their own accord – reached up to bracket his face. I kissed him again, pouring all the crazy, confused feelings I had for him into the desperate movement of my lips against his.  Lucien’s arms – the arms I had been waiting for all my life – wrapped around my waist, and he returned my kiss with the same strength and vitality as my lips gave him.

Before I could truly relax into the kiss the way I wanted to, Lucien pulled back, releasing me and establishing an unwelcome distance between us. He opened his mouth as if he had finally found the words he needed, but I, heedless, spoke first: “Why did you lie to me?”

“I haven’t lied to you, Mercy,” he insisted. “You’re the one person existing with whom I can be completely honest.”

“You didn’t tell me the truth,” I reiterated. “You didn’t tell me you were exsul.”

He froze. “Do you know what that means, Mercy?”

“Well, from the way you’ve just tensed, I assume it’s something you’d rather not tell me about.”

He crooked his head from side to side, conceding that point.  “I have to tell you, Mercy. I’ve been trying to tell you about me for a long time now.” He still held himself distant from me, taking a step back when I tried to step forward.

“There’s one thing I don’t understand,” I cocked my head to one side.

“What’s that?” he almost looked fearful.

“I can’t understand all the sudden appearances,” I confessed. “As far as I’m concerned, you appear out of nowhere.”

He bit his lip. “That’s sort of what I want to talk to you about.”

I paused; braced myself. “Do I really want to hear it?”

He shook his head. “I imagine most of it you’ll pretend you didn’t hear.”

I could accept that. “Lucien, if it’s something you don’t think I’m ready for, I’m prepared to wait,” I offered.

He took a deep breath. It probably sounded as tempting to him as it did to me: I wanted to enjoy our time together as long as it lasted, without making it more complicated.

“Are you nervous?” I teased him. He looked so adorable; eyebrows creased together, a little wrinkle between them. His lip was caught slightly in his teeth.

“In my defence,” he countered, “I’m facing a woman who hold my future in the palm of her hand.”

I blushed, deeply.