Sanders Sides Oneshots bc Yeah

Slipping

The voices never quieted down, always repeating harsh remarks towards him, until one struck a chord with him. He was reading a post about how to make his progress matter when he stumbled on a blog on tumblr. It soon became his favourite site to visit. He created his own account, followed this blog religiously and even put on notifications to see when they'd post their next thinspo picture. The more he scrolled, the more he found different ways of taking out his hatred on himself. The voices still weren't happy with him, so he took to self harming. He knew it was dangerous. He knew it was an addiction. He knew that once he started it would be near impossible to stop, but the second the cool metal blade hit his inner wrist, he craved the sensation. So one cut became two, and two became four, and soon enough, he moved to his thighs and stomach because both arms were littered with scars; new ones that still stung, old ones that had faded to white until he reopened them again to see the crimson bubble on his skin before rolling down to hit the tile beneath him. He no longer wore sleeveless tops or shorts. He couldn't risk his secret being found by the others.

"Roman?" a soft voice came from his door. Patton. Of course it was. Sweet, wonderful, compassionate Patton.

"Yes my love?" Roman replied, mustering all of his energy to sound as he should: regal, proper, confident... worthy.

"Can we come in?" Patton asked, "We need to talk to you."

Of course. They were here to break up with him. They must have finally come to their senses.

Unlocking the door, he braced himself for what was to come with a solemn "Yes."

Patton came in first, followed by Logan and Virgil, who all had a hesitant and almost sad look on their face. Their eyes scanned the royal side's room, finding paper scattered across the floor, each with red X through whatever idea he had written down and words such as "stupid" or "insufficient" or "failure." His sword lay on the seat of the vanity, completely covered in blood stains that weren't even attempted to be cleaned. The ever-growing collection of makeup and photos of the flawless, photoshopped models from the internet covered the vanity itself, along with notes on scraps of paper stuck to the mirror with more red coloured words like "worthless" and "ugly." His Disney posters had been ripped off the walls and his curtains were shredded from the times he had taken his sword to them in a fit of rage. The scale placed in front of the mirror was surrounded by shattered glass, obviously from a previous mirror that Roman had punched in fear of his own reflection. And Roman himself. He sat on the floor in front of his bed. His eyes were red and puffy, his hair was sticking up in all different directions, he sat in his boxers, leaving his scars visible and a clear view of his ribs poking out from under his skin.

It took everything in the three to not freak out over what they saw. It would make the situation worse.

"I suppose you've come to your senses, then?" Roman asked, no longer trying to keep up his facade. His voice croaked from crying for days on end, never knowing when, or if, they'd stop.

"I'm not sure what you mean, my prince." Logan spoke softly, almost as if not to upset Roman. It would have been endearing if Roman didn't know what was going on.

"You're here to break up with me, right? To tell me I'm useless, worthless? That all I do is drag you down and make your lives miserable? I've been expecting it for a while so you might as well just get it over with."

Shock was evident on the other's faces. They had no idea that this was how their Prince was feeling.

"Roman... we're not here to do any of that." Virgil whispered, worried that he would end up scaring him away.

Roman scoffed, "Well then what are you here for? I don't know what else it could be. I don't see why you care."

Patton took Roman's hand and squeezed lightly, "Roman, we're here because we've been worried about you."

"What for? I'm not worth the hassle." Roman muttered, looking down at the ground to avoid the disgust he'd see on their faces.

The three looked at each other, making silent decisions on what to do next. Virgil made his way to the bathroom to get a soft cloth to clean his cuts.

"Roman, you are worth so much. You are irreplaceable. We are nothing without you." Logan murmured, kneeling down to Roman's height. He gently tilted his lover's head up to look at him. All Roman saw was the tears in Logan's eyes and the sadness that was evident across his face.

"You're lying."

Virgil returned with a damp cloth, carefully placing it on the thigh with blood dripping on the floor, "Ro, love. Why would we be lying?"

"I'm not good enough for you! That's why!" Roman exclaimed, "You're all perfect and wonderful and I don't deserve you. You all have a purpose. Logan contributes his knowledge and passion for learning new things. Patton gives him emotions and helps him make strong bonds between him and his friends and family. Virge, babe... you keep Thomas cautious in the world we live in. You might work overtime a lot, but you've only tried to protect him. All I'm here for is to come up with ideas and I can't even do that right. Plus, I hurt you without intending to and I can never forgive myself. Vee, I treated you like a villain for a long time and I hurt you in the process. I constantly patronize Pat without realizing it and I see the hurt in your eyes long after it happens. I fight with Logan all the time and make fun of him when he has a difficult time processing emotions. You're all breathtaking too, and here I am; a fat, ugly, good for nothing side that has now hurt the three most important things in his life because he's pathetic."

There was a pause while they took in what Roman had just said, until Virgil broke the silence, "Roman. Look at me please."

He does so, and he immediately regrets it. There are obvious tears streaking down his cheeks, messing up the eyeshadow beneath his eyes. Yet he still offers a small smile, comforting and warm.

"Roman. You have always been beautiful. Inside and out. You are... well... were so full of life. You cheer us up when we're down, singing silly songs or making us waltz around the living room. When you sing Disney at the top of your lungs, it comforts us, knowing that you're feeling happy, and sometimes we sing along. You may have done some not so nice things in the past, yes, but you've grown. We have seen you trying so hard to accept us and love us as we are."

Tears threatened to fall down Roman's face, but he wouldn't let them. He couldn't show them how weak he was.

"It's okay to cry, Ro." Patton spoke, "You encourage me to express all of my emotions, not just the happy ones. It's time I repay you for that. Let it go."

And so Roman did. He let all of his fears and worries and insecurities go as he sobbed in their arms. They all held him, whispering sweet nothings in his ear. It wasn't perfect. It was far from perfect, but this was the beginning. The beginning of learning to love himself again, of recovering. It was a long road ahead, but the voices of his boyfriends drowned out the ones in his head. He felt safe. He felt wanted. He felt loved. And yes, he did deserve it.