Always You

45. Next To Me

I'm at the park with Rachel and Tori, checking my phone every five minutes like a crazy person.

"Your phone is not on silent so relax, if it rings you will hear it."

I pace around the swings set for the billionth time. I'm surprised I haven't got dizzy and fallen over yet. "But I just need to know now. The waiting around is killing me. You know, I barely slept at all last night."

"That makes two of us."

I look at her curiously. "Why didn't you sleep?"

"You know how I told you that Aaron and I have been trying to conceive?" I nod. "This morning I felt so nauseous and I've felt that same nauseating feeling a couple years ago. When I was pregnant with Tori."

I gasp "oh my god" I run over to my sister and hug her. "Do you think you're?"

She nods. "I'm not getting my hopes up but I really think I am."

I hug her again. "Congratulations."

"I might not be, it is only really early stages. I mean, it could just be from my chicken last night if it was undercooked or something."

"Aaron is the best cook there is no way that chicken was undercooked."

"Okay, but please don't tell anybody. I'm not getting excited over something that might not actually be true."

I nod. "Okay, I promise I won't tell a soul." Her and Aaron want to have their kids close in age so they have been trying for another baby ever since Tori turned one. It won't be long until she turns three. 

*

On our way home from the park my phone rings and Rachel turns off the music so I can answer my call. "Dr Nelson, hey."

"Good morning Hailey. I am calling in regards to your results on your ultrasound yesterday."

"Thanks for getting them as quick as you could. So what's the verdict?" I ask nervously.

"There seems to be no cysts in your stomach, however we would like you to come in for a blood test so we can check on some other things. I will discuss that more when you come in for that."

I let out a massive breath of relief. "Thank you so much. You don't know how glad I am that it isn't a cyst."

"Have you ever been tested for a gluten intolerance?"

"No I haven't but I don't think I am celiac."

"I would still like you to come in for tests."

"Yeah, sure. When?"

"It isn't a rush so when is the best time for you?"

"How about later this week?"

"Sounds good. Take care Hailey."

I look over at Rachel and she gives me a thumbs up. "You too Dr Nelson. Goodbye."

After ending the call I scream out in relief. 

"Yay, thank goodness" Rachel hits my thigh. "So happy for you sister."

"Thank you. Oh my gosh I am so received. I was so fucking scared that it was a cyst." I look at the back and thankfully Tori is focusing on staring out the window so hopefully she didn't hear me swear. 

"I'm interested to see what else you have though, considering that it isn't a cyst."

"You and me both."

The first call I make is to my mum because she was just as nervous as I was during the awaiting of my results. She is extremely relieved. The next person I call is Harry but he doesn't answer so I leave him a voicemail and tell him the good news. Lastly I call Heather because I informed her about it and although she is my manager and should know about these things, she did care and was worried about me too. 

"Should we celebrate?" Rachel asks me.

"Well, there may be something else wrong with me so I'm not going to celebrate too hard. And also there could be a baby inside of you so there is no way that I am letting you drink alcohol."

"Fine, we will just go home and be boring by watching Netlifx."

"I like that idea."

*

Later that week I returned to Dr Nelson's office. He drew my blood from me and runs some allergy tests on me. It turns out that I have nothing wrong with me and my pains are just because of my periods. They are extremely irregular and disrupting my entire bodily system but because I am taking birth control now, he said that should help with it.

After the good news, I went out for lunch with my sister and friends Layla and Max who I have been friends with since my first day of school.

Currently I am sitting at my desk writing. I haven't written in a short while so it was well overdue. My thoughts have been bubbling inside my mind and I am so glad I have the chance to write right now.

This song is called Next To Me and it is inspired by the one and only, Harry Edward Styles.

I get my portable keyboard out and start playing along the notes to the song and singing the lyrics out loud at the same time for the first time. 

"You won't find him drinking at the tables
Rolling dice and staying out 'til three
You won't ever find him being unfaithful
You will find him, you'll find him next to me.

"You won't find him trying to chase the devil
For money, fame, for power, out of grief
You won't ever find him where the rest go
You will find him, you'll find him next to me."

Before singing the chorus I l look out my window and smile to myself because this is my life. I am doing everything that I ever dreamed of, am closer than ever with my family and I have found the man of my dreams. I am one lucky girl. 

"Next to me, oh
Next to me, oh
Next to me, oh
You will find him, you'll find him next to me.

"When the money's spent and all my friends have vanished
And I can't seem to find no help or love for free
I know there's no need for me to panic
'Cause I'll find him, I'll find him next to me.

When the skies are gray and all the doors are closing
And the rising pressure makes it hard to breathe.
When all I need's a hand to stop the tears from falling
I will find him, I'll find him next to me."