Collide : A Robsten Fanfiction

Chapter 21 : First Kiss

August 2014 , Japan

"Sorry about earlier" Nicholas spoke right beside me.

"What about earlier?" I asked not really knowing what he was referring to, or maybe denying it to myself.

We were sitting right beside each other on the garden bench of the hotel, smoking again. The stars were not that bright tonight in Tokyo.

"For not doing the kiss right...I didn't even know what's wrong with it" He chuckled to himself. Then continued puffing on his cig without looking at me.

I shrugged. "It was me probably. I wasn't very cooperative"

It took us 25 takes to get that first kiss done, but still Drake wants to do a retake. He was disappointed on our lack of 'enthusiasm'.

Nicholas turned on the bench to face me. I glanced at him waiting for whatever he was going to say.

"Would it be okay for you if we try it again now?" He asked.

I scrutinized him. I know about preparing props for a shoot, but I rarely practice kissing except where to turn my head and the likes.

"Are you serious?" I laughed.

He smiled then took the cigarettes from my fingers then stubbed it at the nearby cannister.

"Yes, I'm serious." He nodded, now facing me.

I stilled then looked around. We were alone. Should we be alone or would it be safer if somebody's there to keep us emotionally grounded, like on the set? I looked at him again. He was raising his eyebrows at me waiting for my response.

He was nothing but a gentleman all this time. Is this his way of coming onto me or am I reading this all wrong again?

"Kristen...is it okay?" He asked again, now serious.

"Umm...can you give me a reasonable explanation how something like this would prepare us tomorrow? Except probably stir that ridiculous rumour about us..." I struggled to get the words out.

"The fact you're having second thoughts on kissing me on a very platonic reason tonight is enough to tell me you feel uncomfortable doing it with me." He sighed.

"God no! It's okay! You're very attractive. I'm just...not right in the head" I admitted. I never said that before, but it's probably true.

I never had trouble kissing my leading men before, except Rob. That audition kept me awake for days on afterwards.

It was so disturbingly beautiful I tried to keep my emotions down for fear of it showing. We all know how it all turned out.

Now this, this is the exact same feeling.

I looked at Nicholas who already look defeated. I can't do this to him, he's just being nice.

"Nich..." I reached out to him, my hands on his shoulders. I sighed then calmly turned trying to think of a way how to start this.

I was looking down at our crossed legs on the bench when I felt his hands on my chin. He lifted my face to make me look at him. Hairs on my skin stood on end, as if they were waiting to be kissed too. I closed my eyes coz I can't bear to look at him in the eyes.

"Don't do that" He whispered. "Look at me."

I did. Is this his way of letting me understand who I'm kissing?

Before I could form a coherent answer he leaned down. I felt his lips on my cheeks instead, it was a soft chaste kiss. Then he kissed me again on the other side while his fingers splayed on my face, his thumb touching my lower lip. I opened my mouth instinctively, then he went straight for it.

He kissed me for the first time beyond the camera lenses. I was paralyzed at the feeling. It was so long since I felt this way. I was always a weak creature, slave to my own body.

He shaped his mouth to mine, searching, searching for a response. This did not feel platonic at all. I let him, I'm beginning to lose myself now. I dragged my hands up to his shoulders while I felt his other hand on my waist bringing me closer to him.

It felt wonderful, I kissed him back, hesitant, but he coaxed me like a devil. I was helpless. Our tongues danced on their own will and we started to sweat.

We kept going on like that when suddenly a flash went off and we both bolted out of each others arms keeping maximum distance. We looked around, guilty for what we just did.

I don't know why I felt guilty, he probably isn't coz we're both single. But the fear of the papz went straight to my head and I almost started panicking again until I felt him steady me and stopping me from leaving.

"Wait! It's just lightning! Don't worry!" He said.

Then another flash went off and I realized what he said was true. I was so scared for a moment I was still unable to speak. I started to open my mouth but nothing came out.

Nicholas smiled, and hugged me to him now that we were standing.

"It's okay." He said again while rubbing my back. "Let's call it a night, it's gonna rain anytime soon."

I just nodded and let him lead me back to the hotel.

I was quiet the entire time he walked me back to my room.

I didn't know what to say.

When I reached out to tap my room card on the door he stopped me by placing his hand on my arm.

"Before you go, I just want you to know that I don't think we have any problems with that kissing thing" He smiled then laughed when I smiled back.

"Yeah, I guess so. Thanks for the company" I hurriedly said.

"Wait." He said before I closed the door. He suddenly leaned in to kiss my forehead. I froze on the spot again. "Okay you can close the door now" He waved.

I remember closing the door. I remember waving goodnight. I remembered reeling from that kiss in the garden, but what I remember the most was the sudden emptiness I felt with that forehead kiss.

Coz that forehead kiss will forever belong to someone else...