the spaces in betweenㅣtaeyong

19 ; two team

I must have been staring at it a little too long, because soon after, Taeyong took a seat next to me. I just looked over and held the flower up. "This is yours, isn't it?"

He shook his head. "Not now, it's not. Do you know what that flower is?"

I shook my head dumbly, making him smile. His smile seemed to always lift my spirits on the occasion that I saw it.

"It's a tulip. The yellow kind, as you can probably tell." He paused to smile again, a more dorky one than the one moments before. "It symbolises cheery thoughts, so, put off whatever's making you like this, okay? I'll do everything I can to help you fix it,"

His words almost tore me apart.

"Taeyong," I started, making his brows sinch slightly as he waited. "I am I bothering you, depending on you like this?"

He gave me a look. "Dohyeong, it's completely okay for you to depend on me, it's what I'm here for,

I considered this.

"Is that what's bothering you?" He asked slowly, making me look back up.

I shook my head, not knowing how to say what I was thinking. But, as I did, his voice ran out in my head;

'I'll always be here for you, Dohyeong. You can tell me anything,'

"Well, Fine. Yeah, it is. Do you think Aera minds I'm dumping all of this on her? I just feel bad after all she did to try to get a conversation started earlier," I asked, making him raise a brow.

"She seems ecstatic to help you, actually. Besides, she's your best friend, she just wants you to be happy," he said.

His words did at least make sense, considering all of the encouraging words, reassuring smiles and pushes she'd done to get me here. And, it would make sense that she wouldn't do it if she didn't want to, but I still felt bad about making her the puppeteer behind a sort-of relationship that should have nothing but myself running it.

"If you're still not convinced," he began to say, as if hearing my thoughts, "Try to take more control over what's happening. If you think you're depending on people too much, just try to do some things yourself,"

I took in his words, and a blank feeling of reassurance swept over me, making me feel a little lighter.

"You know, I'd probably be up here crying my eyes out if you weren't here," I admitted, slightly embarrassed as he let out a laugh.

But my heart swelled as he laughed; it was almost nicer than his smile.

"Good thing I'm here, then,"

—

The next morning, I woke up around 9 in the morning, not feeling the least bit good. I felt unenergised and weirdly uncomfortable, even though I had slept fine all night.

But I pushed it down throughout the morning, until around noon, when I spotted Aera sitting at the kitchen table.

When I slipped into the seat next to her, she just gave me a nod, not really phased until I tapped her arm.

She took an earbud out and rose a brow. "What is it?"

"Can I ask you something?"

She clicked something on her phone and put it down, her brows furrowing. "Yeah, go ahead,"

"Do you mind helping me with Hyeokjae at all? I feel like you do a lot,"I asked, slipping in my doubts harmlessly.

She just looked more confused as she shook her head. "Uh, no? Why?"

I bit back a smile. "No reason,"

And after that, I was left feeling light again. The uncomfortable and odd feeling that had been there since I'd woken up dissipating into nothing. Taeyong made sure to tell me multiple times that I was ridiculous, for assuming things on a whim.

And, I'd told him multiple times that it was okay for me to have my doubts.

Around noon, I decided that I wanted to go out and get lunch. So,  I went downstairs and asked anyone I came across if they wanted to join.

"No, sorry. I'm already going somewhere with Yuta,"

"Jiseon and I were going to stay in, sorry,"

They hadn't ended up coming home last night after all, the rest of the night spent at Hyeokjae's as I had assumed. And though I could expect it because of Aera and Yuta, Jiseon and Mark seemed oddly different after that, too.

I'm guessing my earlier suspicions were correct, considering how close they looked today. And, that sort of made me a little depressed, because, if I was right, it would mean that I'm still the only one not in a relationship.

But I didn't let this stop me, because as much as it pained me to admit, I couldn't come down here without going one place. I'd been going to this one restaurant at least once every time we were here since I turned 14, and I wasn't planning on messing that up now.

I walked onto the beach with a small bag of food about an hour later, a velvety pink bag over my shoulder and a billowy scarf around my neck. I'd left almost as soon as I confirmed no one else wanted to come with me, going to the restaurant and picking up a few things with the intent to eat on the beach. Now, I tucked my shoes in my bag and sat down on a blanket I'd laid out.

"It was a shame no one came with you," The angel said from beside me, making me look up as he sat down. His black suit jacket was a great contrast to the light blue blanket beneath him, making him stand out greatly.

I just smiled, shrugging. "It doesn't matter to me. It's nice to come to the beach alone,"

He just nodded, silently agreeing as he turned away.

He seemed oddly transfixed on the scene in front of him, with the pale sand and waves lapping at the shore. And, I couldn't help but stare for a moment, almost equally transfixed on him.

He didn't look any different than normal, no, he was still in his plain black suit and white oxford, his hair was still a deep red, and the halo still sat glowing atop his head.

But, with his hair moving slightly with the winds and the tranquil undertone of his eyes, he somehow looked different to me.

—

AN: yellow tulips also mean hopeless love ;)

school is getting out early today, and i'd just like to thank god-also, bitch?? can we just talk about simon says? johnny's shirt? regulate? i'm gonna cRy