Escaping Strings

Chapter 30: Operation Break

That's it, I heard it, he isn't over me yet. I shook my head after hearing it from his mouth. I wanted to cry more because of what he said but I stopped myself from doing so. Knowing what he's feeling is tearing me apart. He's... He's my friend, a very precious best friend. We have talked about this too and now he's coming up again with it, so wrong.

“Jac, that's enough.”

My twin walk towards him and whispers something. She's trying to stop him from saying anything more and I hope that he obey her.

“Wait, do you two have past?” Cara asked and my gaze turned to Matt. “Bakit hindi man lang namin napansin 'yon?” she added before walking towards the couch.

“Fuck, no,” she massage her temple. “I noticed it a little, but damn! I thought it was all nothing.”

I won't deny it, Cara really did noticed it. Siya pa nga ang laging nagsasabi noon na pakiramdam niya ay magkakagustong muli sa babae si Jacob at isa sa aming magkakaibigan. I heave a sigh thinking about that idea. It's all so wrong now.

“So, what will happen now?” Matt asks, smiling at me faintly. “A–Are you leaving me?”

What kind of fucking question is that? What the fucking hell, Mondragon?! Hindi pa ba sapat ang halos gabi-gabi na may nangyayari sa atin? What the fucking hell has gotten into his head really?

Jac sighs, “You know the story, Martina. You were always teasing me and it hit me. What you don't know is that it happened a year after I met you. It was also the time that Matt asked me to introduce him to you but I didn't. I didn't do him a favor 'cause I don't want anybody to go near you. I told him everything I feel, and I did everything just to put a fence on you. The flowers, chocolates and everything from him, I am throwing all of it. I hated him for a reason. We took you as a competition and he won, damn it,” he explain before expressing a painful laugh.

I wanted to apologize to him. I really do and I am ready, but words are too selfish as well as my tongue. Ayaw nitong kumilos at pakawalan ang mga nararapat na salita mula sa bibig ko. Naiinis ako sa sarili ko kasi hindi ko alam kung anong gagawin ko upang mapagaan man lang ang mga kalooban nila.

“Jac, please,” Iris begged him to stop.

“I am resenting my hurting self for continuously loving somebody who can't love me back,” he said.

I watch him walk away and I feel so stupid. Wala akong maramdaman kung hindi ang galit para sa sarili ko. Hindi ko alam na may nasasaktan pala ako sa mga actions na ginagawa ko. Hindi ko alam na sa bawat biro ko, may mga taong sobrang apektado. I am so mad earlier that I am starting to curse them but everything that's happening are all my fault. I hurt a friend, I hurt a boyfriend. It's coming back to me double, more painful, more heartbreaking. I have to fix this, they have to get even, we all do.

I wipe the tears off my face as my twin look to Matthew and I. She heave a sigh, shaking her head.

“Matt, do you have something to say?” she asks him.

He's bowing his head when I face him and my eyebrows instantly furrowed to what I just saw on his cheeks. Is that a tear? Oh, my, what should I do? And what about Jac? Shit! Okay, Matthew first.

“Ahm....” I took a step forward to him before looking at my twin and she give me nod.

“Cara, love, we should go.”

The three of them went out of the house and gone to where Jacob go. I face the man in front of me again. He looks so down and blue, and I can't help but to feel the same way as he do as I see him like that. Should I hug him? Kiss? How can I approach him?