Chapter 6

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The following day we wake up early to get ready for our trip to Sydney where Tim decided that we would stay somewhere overnight and take Andy to the airport the next day so he can continue his tour.

After we all have had a coffee we hit the road to Sydney and make it to the cemetery about 10.30am. We walk over to where the friendly worker at the office told us where they were located and I sit on the grass between them and just talk for a while and then Tim and Ant both promised they would look after me then Andy spoke and he also promised to take good care of me and not hurt me intentionally. I stand up with tears in my eyes and just fling myself in Ants arms as he has been there for me long before Tim was and I feel closer to Ant. He curls his arms around me and hugs me until I have stopped crying. He kisses my forehead as he backs away and then Tim curls his arms around me as well and says "its OK baby girl we are here for you."

Just as I leave Tim's arms I see Andy come back with his phone to his ear and he is not happy. He looks at me and grabs my hands and says "babe I'm so sorry but I have to go back on tour now as there has been some problem I'm sorry I promised you 3 days but I have to go but I will be finishing tour in 4 weeks and I will come straight back to see you then I will go home after I have spent the week with you then". He pulls me into his arms and we just cry in each other's arms. When I pull away I say "it's OK it's your job and I have only been your girlfriend for 9 months and you have been a musician for longer". He looks at me and says "babe please I will always be here for you I am not giving you up ever. If we had been together longer then I would take you with me but I know you are not ready for all of that yet. It is hard having to deal with crowds and fans that go crazy not to mention late nights different hotel rooms all the time. It's just not something I want you to see just yet. Maybe when you are stronger in yourself". I nod my head as I know he is right and say "I know I'm sorry I see what Tim and Ant have to deal with so I can understand. It's OK go and I will see you when the tour finishes". He nods his head and says to Tim and Ant "sorry guys but I have go back but please don't hesitate to call me if she needs me". Tim shakes his hand and says "we will do you want me to take you to the airport then we can continue on with our day"? He nods his head and says "if you don't mind I would appreciate it otherwise I will get a taxi". Ant says "no come on we will do it".

After we have dropped him off at the airport Ant looks at me and says "OK do you still want to do this Manly Quarantine station tour or do you want to do something else"? I look at him and say "can we still do it please I have wanted to do this for ages". Ant and Tim both nod their heads and we start too manly.

Once we get there. We all hop out and Tim goes off to find out more about it. Ant and I look at all the information that they have at the front of the place and Ant turns to me and says "I don't know about this baby girl. I have a really weird feeling". I turn to him and laugh and say "don't be a big baby; come on all 3 of us will stay together". Tim comes back out as I said BIG BABY and he laughs and says to Ant "oh whose a little scaredy cat is my husband one I thought he would tackle anything". I full on laugh at their joke with each other.

We decide after all that we will go through but as promised we stay together. We walk through and just as we get to the end I see this hand just appear out of nowhere. I grab a hold of Tim's other hand as he has one arm around his husband and he looks at me when I do and he says "what's wrong baby girl"? I tell him what I saw and he laughs and says "you are imagining things there was nothing there". I know there was but I also know Tim is a non-believer of this stuff so I let it go.

The next day we head back home but I can't stop thinking about the hand that I saw. I didn't sleep well last night because of it and I know Ant has been really quiet ever since we went in and he tossed and turned last night too. Once we get home I go up to my room so I can shower from the long trip. When I'm in the shower I start to feel really weird like there was something around me but I can't see anything. I finish my shower quickly then head back downstairs where I saw Ant on the lounge just watching television. I plop on the lounge beside him and curl myself into his side. He puts his arm around me and I shiver when he does so he grabs the blanket from the back of the lounge and put over us.

Tim walks back downstairs and I can see his hair is wet so I know he had a shower too. He sits on the arm of the lounge and says to Ant "come on babe you need a shower too and I will run it for you and then I will help you when you have finished". Ant just nods his head and Ant slowly gets up. I look at Tim and mouth "what's wrong with him"? He looks at me then mouths back "he got spooked yesterday as he hates stuff like that but only did it for us. He will be OK by tomorrow". I nod my head then make way to the kitchen so I can organise dinner that's the least I can do for them both. I notice hamburger meat in the freezer and buns in the cupboard so I decide to make homemade hamburgers for dinner as Ant loves them.

After dinner which they both loved we decide to sit down and watch Glam nation live on DVD that I had. Once that was finished I headed to bed to leave those 2 alone for a bit. Ant still has not said anything and I'm starting to worry about him as I have never seen him like this.

I wake up early in the morning to screaming so I run down to Tim and Ants room to see if they are OK. I see Ant screaming so I rush in but Tim stops me and says "baby girl don't he might hit you and I don't want that. Please just go back to bed". I look at his face and see that he has tear stains on his cheeks. I hug and him and say "please if you need me call me". He nods his head yes.

I go back to my room and try to sleep but I can't as what I saw really spooked me too. I have never seen anyone at all like that.

It takes a couple of days for Ant to go back to normal but I can't stop thinking about what happened and how Ant was that really scared me. I just carry on not talking to them for a couple of days and I feel really depressed over what happened to Anthony. It happened because I wanted to go and he put his fears aside for me and that's something I can't get over.

A week goes by and I get even worse, I don't eat, I don't sleep and I don't talk to anyone not even Andy when he rings me. One night I can't take it anymore and I grab the pain killers that I had in my room that swallowed 4 of them. I sent a message to Andy saying "I love you but I can't do this anymore. Goodbye I hope you find someone who loves you like I do". My vision goes black and the last thing I remember is my phone ringing.

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