Chapter 5

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 Not long after Ant goes back into the office Tim comes out and says "hey baby girl do you and Andy feel like going out to dinner and maybe a movie this afternoon as its after 3.30". I look over at Andy and he nods his head so I say "yeah OK just let me get changed" and he says "yeah Ant and I do so we will leave in say 30 minutes". I nod my head and say to Andy "I will be back just have to change my clothes". He nods his head and I quickly peck his lips and run upstairs. You see I am not leaving those 2 alone with my boyfriend for long they will corrupt him. When I had a quick shower and gotten changed in my best ripped skinny jeans I head back downstairs to see Ant sitting on the lounge chair talking to Andy. I head over and sit next to him and he puts his arm around me and I snuggle into his side.

After we have watched the movie we went and had dinner at a restaurant overlooking the water, it's very quiet which is good because I don't want Tim, Ant and Andy to get noticed by fans because that is not good when they are as they get swamped and I am a misanthrope and hate people and crowds. While we are eating dinner Tim asks Andy how long he is staying for and he says 3 days as that's all I get but I will be back in about 4-6 weeks after the tour ends. I have already spoken to my father and he and my mother are going to pack up my stuff so I won't have that much to do when I have finished the tour. I think I might start looking for a house now so it won't be that long that I will need to stay in a hotel for when my tour has finished. Ant looks at Tim as if asking a silent question which those 2 do. Tim nods his head and says "why don't you move in with us we have like 2 spare rooms that aren't being used and that way you can spend more time with Addie"? Andy looks at me and says "do you mind that way I can take my time looking for a house that I like and I don't know how long mine will take to sell". I take his hand in mine and say "I would like it if you did but it's up to you". Andy squeezes my hand and says to Tim and Ant "thanks I would love to". Wow I really can't believe that Andy will be living with us when he has finished his tour. My day just got better what started out OK then turned to absolute shit has just gotten better again.

We are just all enjoying our meal when Ants phone rings and he gets up and says "sorry guys be right back it's my manager". We nod our head and he quickly pecks Tim's lips then walks outside to take the call. He comes back like 10 minutes later and he has the biggest grin on his face and Tim looks at him and says "why are you so happy all of a sudden"? Ant sits down and says "that was a call to say that I have been accepted to go on the show I'm a celebrity get me out of here. I will be leaving in like 2 months to go into the jungle. Tim jumps up and give his husband a hug and say "well done babe I'm so proud of you I know how much you wanted to go on the show and its happened but I am gonna miss you". I just sat there staring at the table as I really don't want him to go. I only just got him back after being gone for nearly 2 weeks and that was so hard as I have grown to love them both. The next thing I know I feel a hand on my arm and I look up to see Ant looking worried and he says "baby girl what's wrong you can tell me please". I look at him and say " it's just that I only got you back today after nearly 2 weeks and that was so hard as I missed you so much and now you will be going again for god only knows how long. I feel like I am losing everyone that I love just when things start to go OK it all turns to shit again". I feel tears start to run down my cheek and Ant gets up and pulls me up to so he can hug me. He dries my tears and says "baby girl you are not losing me OK I will be back, I wouldn't leave you as my life is complete now I have a wonderful husband and a beautiful daughter whom I love very much and you won't be alone you will have Tim there and you will have Andy too". I nod my head and say "I'm sorry it's just as soon as I start to love someone they go like with my family and I have started to really think of you and Tim as my family now. I love you both so much and I don't want to lose you". I feel Tim's arms around go around us and he says in a teary voice "baby girl we love you so much we will not leave you OK please don't ever think that we will leave you". I nod my head and I sit back down once they have broken the hug. I am then pulled into Andy's arms and he says "the same goes for me you won't lose me either I'm here to stay too. I love you so much my little butter cup".

When we have finished eating we go back home where Andy puts his bag in the room that we decided would be his and he goes to have a quick shower. While he is in the shower Tim, Ant and myself sit on the lounge just talking about how Ant's tour was and he said he really enjoyed it but he missed us so much that he has decided that from now on he will break the tours up so he won't be gone that long maybe 4 days max before he will be back again. If he can't do that then he will be taking us with him like he wanted to do this time but couldn't because he didn't want me to miss Uni to much. Which I understand as I really can't afford much time off as it is I will have to catch up on the work they did this afternoon but I just couldn't stay there any longer I needed to be home with Tim to sort out what I saw and be with someone I love through it. I really think I might start calling them dad as they are my father's now.

The day after we just decide to go and do a few things all 4 of us together and as we near the end of the day I think I would really love to see my parent's grave so I ask Ant if I can go tomorrow as they were buried in Sydney and I haven't seen their grave since the day of the funeral and I would really love to just go and see it. He turns in his seat and says "are you sure you want to do that baby girl? I don't mind taking you up there but I want to keep you safe at the same time. I don't want anything bad to happen to you. I nod my head and say "I think I am ready to see it as long as I have you 3 with me I can't do it on my own. I'm sorry but I just can't not yet anyway. Andy grabs my other hand and squeezes it gently while Tim and Ant share a look in the front. I wait for them to say something but they don't until Tim pulls up to the house and turns the car off. He turns to look at me and says "baby girl if you want then we can go early in the morning and we can spend the day there and maybe do other thing and come back the day after"? I nod my head to let them know that I will think about it.

A few hours later just before we sat down to dinner I ask them if we can all talk in the lounge room, I look at them and say "I thought about it long and hard and yes I would like to go to see my parents grave tomorrow if you don't mind taking me that is and staying with me". Tim gets up and comes up to give me a hug and he says "baby girl we will be honored to take you to see their grave and stay there by your side." I bury my head into his chest and just breathe in his scent for a bit until Ant says "come on let have dinner and we can make all the plans after OK"? I pull away and say "OK thank you so much for doing this I really appreciate it". Tim and Ant both hug me and say "you don't need to thank us baby girl we both love you very much".

After dinner we make plans for the following day and we decide that we will leave about 8 am and stop along the way for a coffee. We will go the cemetery then maybe make our way to Manly Quarantine station to have a look around that as they all know my love for that stuff. For once I'm really excited for the next day.


Authors Note: I published this chapter for my daughter who is going through a lot at the moment so Sarah I love you please remember that

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