Devolution, a Spencer Reid/Criminal Minds Fanfic

Chapter 20. Listening to the Lost

Once upon a time…

Ana heard it echoing all around her, but she wouldn’t be distracted. She solidified her position, making sure her mental footing was solid, struggling to make her view of what she thought was Spencer fixed and steady.

Once upon a time…

It was trying to intrude on her concentration. She was sure of it. But any attention she paid it would be focus stolen from Spencer. She could see a reflection of the spark from the center of her deepest self. A bright aqua, scintillating flash flickering at her through banks and columns of drifting, misty gray.

Once upon a time…

She ignored the sound. If she could just bring that green-blue speck of light into sharper focus, she was sure she could reach him; could find the fire in him that matched the fire in her; could fan it to brighter, hotter life the way she could always bolster and strengthen him. And once that was done, she was positive that together they could find a way out of Spencer’s pain and blindness.

Once upon a time there was a water sprite…

Ana froze. She knew that voice. And that story. With a sinking heart, she knew she couldn’t turn away from it. Yet, if she took her steady regard from the spark that must be Spencer, she might lose him. But that voice, that impossible, wonderful voice...

Once upon a time there was a water sprite, loved by the god of the sea…

Ana was torn. She could keep sight of the man she loved…

…or she could listen to the lost voice of Sarah, her murdered sister.

She couldn’t do both. Whichever she chose, she would mourn the loss of the other. Filled with anguish, she answered the call of blood to blood, of kin to kin. She closed her eyes and let the flicker of the light matching her own inner spark… Spencer’s light!... disappear so that Sarah’s voice might grow clearer.

Once upon a time there was a water sprite, loved by the god of the sea. She was beautiful and her name was…was…What was her name, Annie?

It was five-year-old Sarah, trying to remember the story Big Sister had read to her from a book of ancient myths. The tale of Scylla, who had bathed in water poisoned by a jealous sorceress, and been transformed into a hideous, deadly monster.

Ana smiled in remembrance of Sarah’s childhood, even as her heart contracted in pain for Sarah’s death. Despite knowing she was in some ethereal, mental otherworld, Ana was certain those standing by her in the hospital room were seeing inexplicable tears run down her face.

Sarah, Sarah, Sarah…it can’t be you. It can’t.

Why not?

It was difficult even to think the reply. Because you’re dead, Sarah. You died. You’re gone.  You can’t be here.

The voice that answered was still Sarah’s, but older. Much older. The voice of an adolescent. Sarah’s last voice. The voice she’d taken to her grave. The voice that had begged her killer to release her. In vain.

Does that mean I’m a ghost, Annie?

I don’t know. Maybe. I don’t know if I believe in ghosts. You can’t be real. You can’t.

Like the ghosts in Spencer’s head? They’re not real? They can’t be?

A chill touched every fiber of Ana’s being. She couldn’t speak or think, but her empathic sense picked up a burst of apologetic affection. It surrounded her like a hug and then dispersed as Sarah’s voice continued.