.Rise And Fall.

.Rise and Fall. (78)

"Then w-why play with me, why h-hurt me?", I asked between my hiccups.

He tipped my chin so that I was looking into his dark mesmerising orbs, he could reach my soul with them. "Do you really think I'd do that to the girl who means everything to me."

"What do you mea..."

"It's you, only you Rena. Fuck! Is it so hard to figure it out?", he said pressing his lips to my exposed neck.

I stiffened in his embrace. Me? Seven years? He wanted me for all these years when I thought he only despised me, and nothing. Then, everything he did in middle school to torture me, scare away the boys I talk with, was that all because I meant so much to him. Why did I not go and confront him, then maybe he'd have told me the reason and we became friends, maybe. He was in love with me all these time, is that why his heart pounded so hard everytime we were close just like now, I can feel. I was happy will be an understa.. but then when realisation dawn on me slowly. All my happiness came crashing down.

"You lied to me that day", I push him away, immediately missing his warmth. "How do I know you're not lying now? I don't want to be the dumb girl who fall for your charms again."

I backed away from him, resting my back on the wall I brought my knees to my chest. He was on his knees in front with hands on his lap and head hanging low.

"I had my reasons and you're not dumb", he said in a low voice. If not the pregnant silence, I'd have missed it. I stare at the guy who confessed that he has been in love with me for years but couldn't tell me the reason behind lying to me, kissing another girl. If he really love me the way he tells me, he won't be struggling to open up to me and there was this hope maybe after that we could come to some understanding... we could be toge.. No.

"If you're done, you can leave now", I said looking up at the ceiling, to stop the damn waterworks. Loving him was my biggest mistake. For some unspoken minutes, only with our heavy breathes we sat in the darkness until he stood up. My heart broke more when I saw him giving up on me, on us. How did my heart not get used to the pain by now, I thought with the uncountable number of times he hurt me.

"Can I at least hug you before you want me to leave?", he asked extending his hands for me to take. I hesitated at first, but then I placed my small hands on his large ones. In one quick pull, I was in his arms again. He buried his face in the crook of my neck, his breathing become hard and not after too long I felt warm tears wetting my blouse. 

"A-Are you cryi.."

"Deep wounds don't make me cry like a pussy, fuck nothing does except you", he admitted shakily. He tighten his hold around my waist while my arms were wrapped around his neck. If only the situations were different.

"Please give me one last chance. I need you Rena, I fucking need you... I'd do anything, punish me but just don't leave me. I love you so much...", he begged. I stood still and he kept wating for something I couldn't give him at the end. One last chance.

"Do you still want me to leave?", he asked with a little hope. I tightly closed my eyes for a second and pushed him away. I stepped back and nodded.

"I cannot do this to Ethan", I said feeling guilty for enjoying Nick's presence more than his. I didn't have the guts to lift my head and look at him, I knew I'd just give in if I do. He placed a kiss on my head before walking to the window, while I stood on my place not moving an inch. He climbed out to jump. At last he said..