Underground

73

"I DONT CARE ABOUT HER!" he roared. "My mate, no my woman is about to move out and is demanding I give her space! FUCK Lena right now!"

Tears fell down my cheeks as every emotion he felt hit me like the kickback of a gun. Joel reached his hands up to grab my face when I heard a light tap on my bedroom door. My head turned slightly to the sound and Joel growled. I looked back into those beautiful grey eyes and felt my heart constrict. I don't want to do this but I have to. "That is Raoul," I whispered.
"You are leaving now..." his eyes widened at the reality of the situation. I had already spoken to Elizabeth about my choice and was sure she told Eric and the others. I wanted to be settled at Dragon's Keep before Lexi's funeral. I nodded looking down at my shoes. "This is my choice, Joel. I didn't consult you just like you didn't with me," I said.
"Baby..."
"If you want me, if you want us, you will show me. I am choosing to leave your side so you can decide who you really want there," I wiped away a stray tear. Even if it hurts me in the process.

"I...I'm going to come see you," he said quietly. "Everyday."

I moved back, turning my back to him as I picked up my last bag and cellphone. "Maybe you should start that after the funeral," I said.
I didn't look back at him. It would have weakened me and I needed all the strength I could muster otherwise I would run back into those arms. Into his bed where we whispered confessions of everything except what I knew we both felt. Something we both wouldn't say to each other because the feeling is so much strong than that simple statement. I opened my bedroom door and nodded at Raoul who took my bag and led me out of the mansion.

•••

"Knock, knock."
I looked up from my last suitcase and smiled as Cherine, Staci, Mitchie and Jude walked into my room. Its been about a week since I left the Mason mansion and I hadn't heard a word from anyone. I tucked a piece of hair behind my ear as Cherine walked up to me, pulling me into a hug. I looked behind her at Mitchie and Jude who just smiled at me. "I've missed you guys," I said. Cherine pulled away smiling.
"I know that you need space from my dumbass brother but you could have come to dinner on Sunday you know," she scolded. I did get a text from Elizabeth about Sunday dinner but that didn't seem like the best course of action. My leaving Joel was still fresh and if I saw him again.
He would convince you to go back to him. To go back home.

I motioned for them to follow me to the balcony where I had lunch set up for us. After letting them sit first I sat down and watched Staci open one of the bottles of wine sitting on the table. The burning need to know how Joel was nudged at me but I felt it would be better to wait until one of them bought it up. A hand reached out and grabbed mine, squeezing it softly. I looked up at a concerned Jude, "How are you being here...alone?"
I let out a steady breath as I looked at each girl sitting around the table and nodded, "Well I stopped crying after the third day."
"Progress," Mitchie smiled.
"How have you been sleeping?" Staci asked motioning for me to hand her my glass.

"It's hard to sleep. I see her every night and if I don't see her-"

"You see Joel," Jude finished for me. I nodded. Staci and Cherine looked at each other then back at me, "You haven't heard from him either?"

Either? We all turned to Staci and Cherine and I felt my heart drop in my stomach. "You haven't heard from him?" I asked quietly.
They shook their heads.
"I think he called mom to see if you were going to show up to dinner but when she told him that you weren't coming he hung up," Staci explained. "Your leaving did what you wanted, Justine. Don't feel guilty."

"I pushed away my mate-"

"After he made a choice that resulted in the death of one of our own," Staci held up a hand to stop me. "Even if he was protecting us from the wrath of the council, he had a choice and he made the wrong one."
That's how I felt the day I left. I cleared my throat as the servants started to bring out the food, "Lexi's funeral is tomorrow."
They nodded. I was more ready now then I would have been a week ago. I never was good with funerals to begin with and this was going to be the hardest. I was in charge of lighting her lantern. "They already engraved her name on that large tablet thingy," Mitchie said. "I personally don't think a funeral is a way of remembering Lex."