I'm Still Mortal

Chapter Ten

Percy's POV

When I woke up, it was to Jason's shallow, rhythmic breathing. I was pressed tightly into his warm chest, his arms wrapped around me comfortingly. I closed my eyes and enjoyed the for once blissful moment, trying to catch up on everything that had happened. It was overwhelming at first, flashes of images of screaming, crying and blood flashing across my vision, but my most recent memories were a kind smile, gently kisses and soft whispers of reassurance. Jason taking care of and loving for me was the best thing that I could remember, like Annabeth once had. "Percy?" A low, voice mumbled after a while of silence. "Are you awake?"

I nodded. "Yeah," I whispered softly in response, tucking myself closer into his chest.

"What time is it?"

"I'm not sure."

Jason nodded, kissing the back of my neck softly. "Good whatever time of the day it is, then."

I chuckled softly. "Yeah."

"Are you okay?" Jason asked, sitting up from his laying-down position to look down at me.

I turned on my back so I was looking up at him and nodded slightly. "You could say that, I suppose."

He frowned down at me, not looking quite satisfied. "You suppose?"

"Who would be okay after all that has happened?"

Jason slowly nodded. "Yeah, alright. Do you feel at least a little better?"

"Yeah, thanks to you."

Jason's face flushed as he smiled sheepishly. "I didn't really do much."

"Are you kidding?" I scoffed, wrapping my arms around his neck and bringing him down so his lips almost met mine, his breath fanning over my lips. "You're what kept me alive, Grace," I whispered softly, tilting my head up to brush my lips against his. "You're what keeps my hopes just above the point of going under and never resurfacing. You're my savior."

Jason frowned slightly. "I could have done better," he mumbled, gesturing towards my bandaged wrists. "That isn't a savior."

"Jason, nothing could have stopped me then," I sighed as he withdrew from me, moving to lay down beside me. "Nothing."

"Why did you do it in the first place?"

"Why do you think?"

There was a heavy silence between the two of us for a while. "I don't know Percy. I know that it hurt me, and it hurt you, and that's enough to take the both of us down."

"Now why in the world would it hurt you?"

"Because I care for you Percy! You're too oblivious to realize it, but-" Jason sighed, closing his eyes lightly as he took a breath. "I love you, alright? I don't want anything bad to happen to you. It upsets me when you're sad or upset or angry. Because I care for you. You're blinded by self loathing so much that you don't see how many people care and love for you." Jason cupped the side of my face, brushing his thumb over my cheek bone. "You need to open your eyes Percy."

I bit my bottom lip, avoiding Jaso'ns gaze. "I tried. I ended up seeing Annabeth's true side. I saw how manipulative and cruel she can be. I don't want to open my eyes again Jason, I'm scared. I'm seeing the sugar coated world that I want to see. Every time I try to open my eyes, something terrible happens. I don't want to try anymore. I want... I want this to be over." I could feel my eyes welling with tears seemingly made from acid, which I desperately tried to blink away with no prevail.

Jason quickly tilted my head up, forcing me to stare him dead in the eyes. "Percy." His voice was stern yet gentle; considerate yet demanding. "Listen to me. People care for you. People want to help you. We all love and want to care for you, but we can't if you don't open up and let us. There's no use to a key with a bolted door."

"I tried," I whispered weakly, my voice cracking. "I tried Jason, I fucking tried. I really did. I don't know if I can anymore. I've had my heart broken so many times, with-with Luke and Annabeth and everyone. As soon as I open up to someone they leave or aren't who I believe them to be, and I-... I can't trust anyone anymore."

Jason's frown etched deeper into his face. "You can trust me Percy. I swear, I won't leave or change. I promise. I'm more me around you than everyone else. I used to feel I had to live up to everyone else's standards and be the perfect person, but I relax around you. I trust that you'll care for me no matter my strengths and weaknesses. I trust that you won't ridicule or judge me. I trust that you won't mock me. I trust you, Percy, why can't you trust me?"

"I don't know!" I cried out, a weak sob leaving my lips. "I don't fucking know, alright? I'm sorry, but I can't! Not after... Not after Annabeth..." I curled away from Jason's touch and into a small ball, hiding my face in my knees as I cried. I've never felt so weak or defenseless, even when I hadn't been able to physically move. This time, I felt emotionally paralyzed, only neutral mode kicking in. Except this was my neutral. Not flat, but a deep ditch I couldn't seem to crawl out of.

"Percy," Jason whispered, his voice tinged with pain. "It's alright. I don't expect you to now. You don't have to ever if you don't feel safe or comfortable. But I need you to promise me something." I didn't do anything for him to recognize that I heard him, but he continued nonetheless. "I need you to promise that you will at least try. Try to open up to me, or anyone, alright? Can you promise me that you'll make an effort?"

I slowly nodded. "I promise," I whispered out weakly, slowly turning to face Jason again. "I promise to try."

Jason smiled sadly, gently tracing over a few of my features with his finger tips, brushing away tears. "I love you Percy."

"I love you too."

(First update? Completed. *Sigh* Kid From the Asylum next, I suppose.)