Dying to Live

Chapter 27

He looked up and blinked a few times, his mouth gaping slightly as if he was surprised to see me standing there. "I'm fine," he said and checked the oil that was still draining into the pan.

"You're clearly not fine," I argued back.

He turned onto me and glared.

I took a step back, stunned.

"You promised," he said harshly. I'd only ever heard him speak to me like that when he was out of his mind in pain. I thought about the time when I attempted to comfort him after his first chemo treatment, when he was throwing up in the bathroom upstairs. He was so angry then too, but in a blink the emotion had vanished and he told me he was sorry. This time, he didn't. "You said you wouldn't pry. So please don't. Not right now. Just leave me alone."

I raised my hands up defensively.

"OK, just come inside when you're ready," I said and just left him there to figure out whatever he needed to figure out. He'd come back to me in time.

I mean, he kind of had to. We were leaving for North Carolina in two days and I was planning to have a really good time with my husband.

I heated up some leftovers and ate alone at the breakfast nook, staring out into the backyard at Joplin. She was sniffing the grass near the fence, and I found myself thinking how liberating it'd be to be her right now. I wouldn't have to worry about anything except food, squirrels and tennis balls. I sighed. It kind of sucked, feeling this helpless, but I knew Adam and I understood his personality well enough by now to know when to just back off and let him be. He wasn't going to push me away forever. He'd eventually open up. He'd made a promise too.

So I called Skye and made plans to go see a movie with her and Beatrice. Girls' night out, that'd be fun! Then I called Calvin, which I realized was probably a little bit weird, but only after I'd already started to dial him. I usually just texted him, so I hoped he wouldn't jump to conclusions and assume something was really wrong.

"Hey," I said, trying to keep my tone level when he answered on the third ring.

"Hey, little sis-in-law," he greeted me. He sounded out of breath and I could hear some chatter in the background. "Everything OK?" he asked.

"Yeah, everything's fine," I answered, stretching the truth just slightly. I put the empty Tupperware container in the sink and added my plate, fork and knife along with it. The dishwasher was full of clean dishes so I'd have to put those away later too. "I'm going out with my sister and my niece in a little bit. We're gonna spend a bit of girl time."

There were more shuffling sounds on his end that I couldn't place. "Cool, sweet, you deserve some time for yourself," he said.

"Yeah, but I don't really know if I should be leaving Adam alone right now," I said softly, looking over my shoulder to make sure the door to the garage was still closed. I moved into the living room, where he'd be less likely to overhear me. "He's in a... mood. I don't really know what's going on. I got home and he was—I don't know. But he's not talking. I thought maybe you could come over and work your magic? Maybe let him beat your ass a little at Mario Kart, or whatever," I shrugged.

"Pfft, please, I wouldn't let him beat my ass even if he was dying of cancer—oh wait," he chuckled and then sighed heavily, his true emotions appearing underneath the tough man act he was trying to pull over me. "I'll be there. I'm just finishing up at the gym. Don't tell him anything. We can just pretend I showed up unannounced, that way you'll be in the clear," he offered. "Don't worry, Zo. Byrne men are moody motherfuckers. I really doubt it's got anything to do with you. He's too busy constantly eye-fucking you."