Already Gone

- iv - Mother

1472 words
Vote, comment, fan <3

Date: January 18th, 2018
Time: 2:25 p.m., Thursday

I sat in a small restaurant only open during lunch hours as I awaited the arrival of my mother to begin the talk that was so important that I had to reschedule two other appointments I had made with two different patients. The small restaurant was very nice, and kind of expensive. The floors were a white marble with golden brown wooden walls. Mahogany curtains draped over the window pulled to either side to show light. Ceiling fans complimented the beautiful chandeliers, and might I just add - that was very unique. The tables were squared and cover with mahogany table cloths, a cute little candle fancily sat in the middle of each table. The restaurant was as beautiful as its worth.

The sky was clear of any clouds that day, the sun shining so brightly that we had actually had a pretty hot day. That was rare in the middle of January.

A waiter had approached my table to take my order but I dismissed them as I chose to wait for my mother to join me, and twenty-one minutes later my mother was finally entering the small restaurant. In her mid forties (46), she wore a lovely yellow summer dress and a pair of white strapped sandals, topped off with a beach hat and her brown purse.

"Glad to see you," I stated as I pulled her chair out. She took her seat and I pushed it closer to the table before taking my own seat once again. "How are you this afternoon?"

"I'm okay, thank you for asking," she said, giving me a soft smile. "How's that job of yours?" Just by the sly way that she put emphasis on the word 'job', I could tell that it still bothered her that I was in the psychology field, but I tossed it out the window and just played it off.

"Getting better. Some months slower than others," I said.

"Well, what did you expect? You're twenty-six years old, why would you think you'd get many patients?" She chuckled and wiped an invisible tear from under her eye before returning to her boring state of pure despise.

Sighing, I count to ten, finding myself doing that more often then before. "What do you need?"

She gasped. "Who said I needed anything?" She faked hurt and folded her arms.

"You only ever contact me when you need something, so, what is it?" She stared blankly at me and I snapped, "Please, I'm not that sixteen-year-old fragile little kid anymore, don't beat around the bush with me. If you'e got anything to say, spit it out." I was way out of line, I admit - that was far and beyond disrespectful, and if anything, that was what I didn't want to be to either of my parents.

Genuine humility flooded her eyes as we caught a few glances by strangers, and she took a minute before replying. "Don't talk to me that way," she hissed in a low voice, her glare sending daggers at me. 

I swallowed a lump in my throat and couldn't help but to look away from her. My stomach flipped in ways it shouldn't have and I felt tears pricking behind my eyes, but I forced them away and stood up. "Please," I whispered in an attempt to hide my embarrassment, "excuse me." I rushed off, passing the eyes of curious customers and went straight into the men's restroom, closing the door and walking up to the sink.

I growled at myself and threw my hands up to my hair, running them through my, what was, perfectly styled hair. A ran my hand down my face and wrapped my arms around my body, squeezing at tightly as I could while biting down on my tongue. I tasted the metallic taste of blood and turned on the faucet, angrily splashing my face with ice cold water in attempt to calm my anger. I pulled my face up and opened my eyes, staring at the destruction in the mirror, which was my wrecked red eyes, screwed up hair and angry glare. I looked away, ashamed at who I was. Turning off the water, I fell against the wall and breathed in and out, trying to get a steady rhythm once again.

A few minutes later I began to feel ultimately drained of energy, as though I hadn't slept the previous night. I finally felt calm enough to get back up, and when I did, I looked in the mirror once again. My eyes weren't as red anymore, my face looked tired, my hair a downright mess, but still I felt okay. I fixed up my hair a bit and left the restroom.

With my head lowered, still very mortified, I sat back down at the table my mother waited for me at. "I'm sorry," I said.

"I'm sorry as well, that was rude of me to say," she sighed. "I want to stop fighting. Maybe today wasn't the right time." She stood up, dusted her hands and smiled down at me. "I love you. You're still my baby. You always will be."

I couldn't help the genuine smile that formed on my lips at her words, and I stood and threw my arms around her in a tight hug. She, shockingly, hugged back. "I love you, too," I said, and thus, we went our separate ways.

Later that night, at 7:14p.m., I called Nora to which she picked up.

"Hello Forest," she said, and I could hear the sound of her television playing in the background.

"Good evening," I replied. "How are you tonight?"

The sound of a door gently closing, locking into place, caught my attention as the sound from the background faded away. "I'm good, just spending time with my family," she said. "How are you. We can't talk long."

"Oh, okay," I replied with a slight frown. "I'm good, too. Just called to see how you were doing."

"Alright, but I have to go. Have a good night," she said before hanging up. I thought that was pretty interesting but I decided not to dwell on it too much.

I didn't feel like cooking anything so I just called in for some pizza. When the pizza arrived I ate in a peaceful silence before heading into my bedroom to write in the journal.

Hello again.
What will I write tonight? Hm, I don't really know. I'm not really a man of very many words. I usually decide to keep my thoughts to myself, but this is a book for jotting down emotion. It was all for myself. But anybody could find it, then my feelings wouldn't really be just my own, would they?

It's not like I have any mentality problems emotionally, because I honestly don't believe that I do. So what exactly am I doing?

Whatever.

Today was exciting, to say the least. Mom surprised me with a change in her step. She took a big leap today by changing her attitude slightly. She said she doesn't want to fight anymore. But, question is - will she hold her words? Will she continue the devastation?

These are questions I never find answers to, because my mother seems to be the type of woman who couldn't make up her mind. It's almost as though she really wants to be there for me but her annoyance with my profession always gets in the way all of the time.

Aside from that situation, my cousin, Daniel, was even more stubborn that ever. I just don't understand him at all. He says he wants help but obviously, he doesn't.

So what?

Will he continue to kill himself? Is what he's doing really that important to him that he'll throw all of his family away just to hold on to it? To say that he has an addiction is utterly an understatement. He has a genuine, stupid problem.

He's killing himself and he doesn't even care.

If he really thinks I won't find him, he's wrong. Unlike him, I actually do love and care about my family.

I'm far and beyond angry with him, that is one thing I will say.

However, I think I'll end this here. See you in the morning!

AUTHOR'S NOTE:
Hey everyone. I didn't go over this and edit this time, so if there's any mistakes do point them out but be kind about it, please.

So this book is not going to be cliche, I promise. They'll be some romance but not very cringy.

I want this book to be different in its ways.

Also, I'm giving dedications tonight or tomorrow. Be on the look out.

Please hit the vote button and warm a heart ♡

Vote, comment, fan ♤♡◇♧☆