Insomnia [j.g]

1

To jack.

I feel like - nothing. I don't feel like anything and that's the problem. I don't feel anything

I can't sleep. I can't eat. And overall, I don't want to try. All I can do is write. I write all of my feelings. I write about how you made me feel. About how I needed you and you weren't there, about how I need you , and you aren't here.

I miss you.

I miss your hugs, your kisses, your smile, your voice, your laugh, your eyes, your hair, your smell, hell, I miss wearing your clothes.

I don't wear the sweatshirt you gave me anymore. I feel as if I don't belong in it.

I miss being able to write about happy things. About world peace and my feelings without having a tear stained page by the end of it.

I miss reading books with you. you would read them with me even if you didn't like them. I miss you making sarcastic remarks at every single sentence written. That's what I loved about you.

That's what I still love about you, and that's what I will always love about you.

I don't know how this happened.

My mom thinks I'm depressed. I can't eat, I can't sleep,I barely talk. I don't get out of bed and I don't read any books anymore; because that reminds me of you. My room still smells like you. I still have a bottle of your cologne on my dresser.

I don't know why i'm writing this to you, because you will never see this; but it feels good to be able to know that I can finally write again.

I stopped for a while. I had nothing to say. I couldn't think properly. All I could think about was you. I had your name written all across the pages. Every single line, every single place was filled with your name. Just like my thoughts.

Every time I think about something, it all comes back to you,

"Maybe I should read again"
'No, that was our thing."
Or,
"Maybe I should actually look presentable."
'But I can't wear that anything in the right corner of my room, they remind me of him.'

Every thought, every sentence, every tear, every emotion, is taken up by you, and It's driving me insane.

My doctor gave me pills to help me fall asleep, I've been having troubles with that lately. I'm always staying up until the dawn. Nothing I do can help. So, apparently I have a thing called

Insomnia.

- Faith.