The Nerd Tastes Like Strawberries - Style (Stan x Kyle)

my kyle {6}

[stan]

"did you hear there's a new kid?"

i sit on an uncomfortable metal table in the crowded cafeteria - well not literally on the table, i'm sitting on a chair, but you get my point, cartman sits across from me, beside him sits clyde, and next to myself is craig.

i glance at cartman, a new kid? at south park high? the last new kid was nichole, who came back in like 4th grade or something. "what's their name?"

"don't know, they have just been sneaking around in a hoodie." cartman shrugs. "have you seen kyle?"

"no, why?" i ask, why the hell is cartman asking about my kyle?

woah shit, he's not mine. fuck i need to stop with the jealous thing.

"kyle owes me 10 bucks." cartman replies,
i decided if i questioned him further he'd get suspicious. he shrugs and continues to stuff his face in...

salad.

yes, fatass eric cartman is eating salad. though he's not fat anymore, he's kinda extra muscular.

"hey, is come fat free, or like gluten free?"

i snap my attention towards clyde, who is eating a slice of pizza. man, cafeteria food sucks. dick.

"well, i've been with tweek for about eight years and i haven't really gained any weight, so i'd assume not." craig replies.

"where is the little guy anyway?" clyde asks.

tweek tweak, he's friends with my kyle. oooo, lightbulb. "yeah, why don't you invite him and his friends over to our table?"

"you've never taken interest in my relationship, why start now?" craig asks, confusion lacing his tone.

"because... i- i mean we, need more creek action, for the y'know... the readers..." i mumble.

"for the who?"

"never mind."

craig sends me a suspicious look as if to say 'i'm onto you, bitch'

"YES!" clyde yells, drawing attention to our table, multiple pairs of eyes stare at us.

i jump, startled. "the fuck?"

"give me that creek action." he fake moans.

i scrunch my nose in disgust and confusion, is he high?

"what the fuck is the creek everyone keeps talking about?" craig asks.

"y'know, ships." cartman adds.

"ships?" craig asks sarcastically.

"yeah, when us fangirls think two guys would be hot together and make hot frickle frackle, we ship them." clyde shrugs and continues to eat.

craig stares at clyde, disbelief crosses his features, until he smirks. "me and tweek make hot frickle frackle?"

before clyde could answer, cartman speaks up. "okay, can we not be homosexual for a bit?"

"never." i say.

"i'd rather not." craig shrugs.

"does black guy semen taste different to white guy semen?" we all stare at clyde, who looks back; innocently. "what?"

-

i miss my kyle.

i didn't see him today at all, i think he might be ignoring me. i left a note in his locker. i hope he doesn't throw it away.

hopefully he doesn't think i didn't want to kiss him. i want to kiss him.  i'm scared. i don't want to hurt him.

"stanley! son!" my dad knocks on my bedroom door loudly.

i'm dragged out of my thinking, i look around my room. you'd think it'd be completely messy and unkept. but ever since about fourth grade and i discovered i had a hoarding problem, i got my problem under control and now i'm sort of a perfectionist. everything in my room has a place and is extremely tidy.

"yeah?" he walks into my ocd kept room. over the years my dad has aged. he gained (?) a lot more wrinkles and grey hair.

"your sister is coming home soon, so we're having a family dinner." dad says, if you're wondering, or care: shelly went to medical college, ironic since she hates people, but she wants to help the sick ones. she moved out and moved in with her boyfriend johnny - he's canadian. "oh, and this note was left in the mail box."

-

A/N: heyyyyy wassuppp, wHaT dO tHe NoTeS sAy?!!?!2772

ok okokok i know it's short and shitty (like cartman's d) but it works for some and not for others y'know, anyway enough about dick's for now.

i know i kinda vanished for a bit (lol not that anyone noticed) but i will let you in on a secret.

i don't have wifi at my house.

yep, i use free wifi i can find or use my friends data to update :)))))

but y'all should go follow my spotify @kirraleys-a-spud, i have some shipity do da stuff on there. and if you want to be friends with a socially awkward weirdo my snapchat is @kirraleyjp

y'know it's bad when the a/n is longer than the actual chapter, anywhore, until the next one...

byeeyyeyeyyeye xooxoxoxo