Do As I Say

Last Resort

Trace

I tried to push further back into the wall while huddled in the corner of the room. I clutched my hair and started shaking my head. I knew I was slowly losing it. I was slowly losing my sanity. Everything was seeping out of me.

I couldn't stay here anymore. No. I was going to die. I didn't want to stay here trapped between four walls and be forced to fucking kill people. I was fucking sick now. I was fucking sick of everything. Val. Myself. This place. Everything.

I looked across the room at Ryde who was slumped in a corner, aimlessly picking at a loose thread in his jeans. A girl and a guy sat beside him. The girl was crying into her palms and the guy had his head between his knees. They were all bathed in blood and had bandages wrapped around multiple places.

The other people in the room were all cowering in different corners. Some of them were hugging and comforting each other while others were just staring at the walls and crying. A girl was slamming a fist repeatedly against the wall and trying to find a way out even though there was none. We were never going to get out of here. We were going to stay here forever.

I loosely ran a hand over my face and only winced as I felt my fingers trace over each bruise and each indentation. The blood had dried to the extent that it felt like a second skin. I reeked of sweat and blood. I reeked of fear. Grimacing, I lowered my head into my lap and tried to stop the tears from falling. I should've been done crying by now. It never got me anywhere.

I pulled at my hair in sudden anger and twisted it in my grip as I thought of how fucking weak I was. I should've taken a fucking stand for myself but no I had to be the little crying bitch every time.

I'd killed my parents and lived with the sister who'd watched me do it. I'd laughed and smiled not knowing I was the fucking reason why they had died. I'd murdered them. I befriended a person who was just like me. I brought this onto myself. Why? Why? Why was fate so fucking cruel to me? I pulled harder on my hair and cried out as my scalp seared underneath my fingers.

I deserved to die but not here. I deserved to die on my own. I deserved to die alone. I kept pulling until my hands slumped down to my sides and a stream of tears broke out of my eyes and raced down my face. I felt them slide down my neck and just limply hung my head off my knee. My heart thumped meaninglessly in my chest. Suddenly, I felt my hair being pushed to one side and a cold hand cupping my tear stained cheek.

"Trace," Val's voice sent a shiver tearing up my spine and I tried to move back but he caught my shoulder with his other hand and held me in place while slowly tipping my face up towards his. "Trevor just told me that Ethan and Noah managed to kill at least more than forty people. This calls for a celebration. Let's drink to it."

I stared up at him through my tears, anger suddenly bursting through every vein in my body and gritted my teeth as I held back from sticking my nails in his eyes. He'd somehow read me and smirked before leaning down towards my ear.

"Don't look at me like that," he warned in a whisper, his breath cold against my nape. "I stopped myself from having fun with you last night but when you look at me like that it becomes even harder to resist."

"You were crying," I whispered suddenly against his cheek, my tears soaking into the fabric of his shirt. I realized I was trying to hit a nerve, trying to do anything to get him away from me or I just wanted him to kill me off. He could just end my suffering but I had to tell him the truth. "You were crying because your mother abused you. I heard you. I heard you crying and I felt sorry. I really did but when you put people through such pain it all just drains away. It doesn't matter anymore just like nothing fucking matters to you, Val. I wish it fucking did. You don't know what you're putting me through. I wish you knew. I wish you knew how much it hurts."