NightShade (Lesbian Story, Rewritten)

Chapter 18

What? Alison? Are you awake? Kira's voice rang out in the wolf's head, causing her to look around the room in panic. Sure enough, after a few seconds, the vampire was standing in the doorway.

"Alison?" She called.

"W-What's happening to me?" Alison asked, though her voice barely seemed to leave her lips. Instead of trying to get back up, she fell back into her bed.

"You're still recovering." Kira explained as she moved over to the bed and sat beside her girlfriend. "I'm surprised you're awake now, considering your clearly still transitioning."

"I'm... I'm not fully...? I'm gonna be sick." Alison whined.

"I brought a bucket." Kira answered, picking a small bucket off the floor and placing it on the bed next to her with a guilty smile. Alison pulled herself into a sitting position, and pulled the bucket into her lap, burying her face in it with a groan.

"What did you do to me?" Alison whined.

"I warned you that it would be unpleasant." Kira rolled her eyes.

"Take it back."

"It's permanent. You're going to have to deal with it."

Alison groaned again. Silence passed between them, and Alison soon noticed that Kira was gently rubbing the wolf's leg while watching her with a look of pure guilt.

"I had another dream... from when we were back in Exodious." Alison finally said.

"Oh?"

"We were on the bank of Nightshade River. Staring up at the stars."

"We did that a lot."

"The moon was behind your castle and we were cuddling. I think we were gonna have sex, then the moon turned red and you attacked me." Alison admitted. Kira stared at her with a nervous expression. "That didn't actually happen did it?"

"Not with you." Kira turned her head away.

"What's that suppo-... I saw your memories..." Alison noted, looking from Kira back down to the bucket in her lap. "That was Melissa. I was watching through Melissa's eyes..."

"A vampires instincts are amplified on a Blood Moon. But I was so close to my Awakening that it affected me even more so. I... I couldn't help myself." She held up her hands and balled them into tight fists as she glared at something only she could see. "I wanted her to suffer. I wanted to watch the life fade out of her eyes and... and..."

"Why didn't you just stay away from her until you finished your Awakening?" Alison questioned.

"I didn't want to. I thought that I could resist it. I never had any issues before. Even with blood, sure I wanted it, but I was always able to just cast the feeling aside and move on. My mother warned me that that's not what was going to be like. That I wouldn't have any control. But I never expected to actually want to hurt someone like I did." She shook her head.

"You loved her, like you loved me?" Alison questioned.

"No." She shook her head. "I thought it was love. I may have even thought she was my mate. But when I met you it was completely different. It's like an overwhelming compulsion to do everything in my power to make you happy. And to spend every waking moment with you." Kira explained. "I know Werewolves have similar emotions towards their partner, so I'm hoping you can relate."

"I can."

"With Melissa, it was like... A school crush." She shrugged. "Like, I wanted it, but I also knew it wasn't going to last."

"But you still loved her."

"Yes. But it wasn't the same love." Kira explained. "And I told her that. I told her that I might have been her destined one, but she wasn't mine. Sure, I liked her, and I would do anything I could for her. But it wasn't an overwhelming need."

"You were using her."

"N-No! I wasn't! I wasn't going to abandon her! I was going to stay with her for her whole life, and make her feel needed, and wanted. I was going to take care of her and love her...but I..." She closed her eyes tightly, tears starting to fall from her face. "I really, really cared about her. I still care about her. But I took her from this world. No one else did. I killed her."

"It wasn't you."

"It was most certainly me. I remember everything. I remembered how badly I wanted to strangle the life out of her. How much I wanted to hurt her. And how I broke her frail body into pieces just because I could." She buried her face in her hands, and Alison tried to reach for her, but her body was still not moving quite right. She sort of raised her arm, but couldn't actually reach her. "I tortured her for so long while she just cried and begged."

"Kira, I can't...I can't reach... Please come here." Alison called.

Kira pushed aside the bucket and threw herself into the werewolf's lap, burying her head in her stomach as she wrapped her arms tightly around her and cried.

"It's okay Kira." Alison whispered, gently running her fingers through her hair. "It won't happen again."

Kira sat up, looking straight into Alison's eyes. "That's not true either, because it has happened again. Even with Zoe, sometimes I just can't help it. I remember things... things that hurt and I just... I want to hurt them. There's something inside me Alison. Something that wants to hurt people. That wants to hurt you." Kira admitted.

"You won't hurt me Kira. You never have." Alison smiled softly, touching her lover's cheek gently. But Kira's eyes spilled over with more tears.

"When you hit me, and you left... Alison I wanted to hurt you the way you hurt me so frighteningly bad I had to leave because I knew that I would. When I came back you were out cold, I knew I had to separate us. Not just to protect you from Zia and the Daybreakers. But because I was afraid I was actually going to hurt you!"

"But you came back now, so you must not feel that way anymore? Right?"

"I don't know." Kira admitted. "I'm terrified that I'll have a nightmare, and wake up strangling you the way I did her."

"That won't happen."

"It will happen! There's no way it couldn't happen with how things are! With how I am! I'm going to hurt you. At some point in the future I'm going to hurt you Alison. I don't want to, and I'll hate myself more than anything in this world for it. But there's something wrong with me. Something even Zoe can't help me control."

"Kira, you're not a monster." Alison called. "You're just like me. You have something in your body that you have to learn to except. The sooner you accept it, the sooner it stops being so much of a hazard."

The vampire shook her head, and buried her face back in her lover's stomach. "I wish it was so easy."