The Greatest Myths, Legends, Fables, Fairy Tales, & Short Stories Ever Told.

The Breakdancer

There once was a boy who was 15 years of age. He lived in Brooklyn, New York and dreamed of becoming a breakdancer.

Each day, when he walked home from school, he would stop to watch the breakdancers dance. He was captivated by them and the incredible things they could do with their bodies. He desired to not only dance like them, but to also have the admiration and love from the crowd that they received.

One day, the boy decided to stop dreaming and start doing. He put on his favorite tunes and began practicing. After one hour of practicing, he felt ready to show off his skills.

The next day, on his way home from school, he challenged one of the street dancers to a dance-off, this turned out to be a dreadful idea.  He was no match for the street dancer, he lost...badly. In dancing jargon, one would say, the boy got straight-up served! He walked back home with his head down, absolutely humiliated.

He sat on his bed for hours trying to comprehend what just happened. He couldn't understand how he possibly lost. He then begun to think that perhaps dancing wasn't for him, he thought about quitting. Suddenly, the reason for why he lost appeared in his mind. 

He came unto the realization that the reason he lost was because he was practicing his dance moves on carpet, when the dance off was on cardboard. He said, "I need to find some cardboard now!"

The boy searched all over his house looking for a cardboard box, but could not find one. He went to his mother and said, "May you take me to the store to buy a cardboard box?"

The mother replied, "No, money doesn't grow on trees, and neither do cardboard boxes. Now step aside, I'm trying to finish watching my show. Things are heating up, Tammie just called Joseline a bitch, and Joseline just told her she ain't one to play with."

The boy then walked out of his apartment and grabbed a box that was lying beside the dumpster. When he attempted to bring it into the apartment his mother impeded him.

She said, "Don't be bringing that shit up in here. Tryin' to bring cockroaches up in my sanctuary, oh hell naw. Does this apartment look like a box store to you? A dump to you? When did we start sleeping in a filthy alley? Get that dirty ass cardboard up out this apartment boy. If you don't do it quickly, I will hit you upside yo head. You already know I ain't one to play with."

The boy, understanding that his mother was indeed not one to play with, abided by her command. The boy was frustrated, but refused to accept defeat. Therefore, he brought his boombox outside and placed the cardboard on the alley floor and began to practice his dance moves by the dumpster.

A local shop owner who was throwing out his garbage in the dumpster noticed the boy dancing. He approached the boy and said, "Hey kid, you're pretty good. You should enter the break dancing competition this Saturday. First place is awarded with a $20 gift-card to Papa John's Pizza."

The boy was ecstatic due to the compliment. The encouraging compliment gave the boy confidence to enter the competition. Even though he only had a few days to practice, he was filled with determination to win, not only for the bragging rights, but also for the gift-card. He was a huge fan of Papa John's Pizza, so that love for cheesy goodness provided him with extra motivation to practice.

The boy practiced for hours and hours, even skipping meals and forgetting to sleep. His mother went outside to find him and she said, "Boy you best be getting in this house right this second, you're gonna catch a cold."

The boy pleaded with his mother to let him continue to practice but she refused. She said, "Come inside, or you're gonna wish a cold is all you catch, because you are about to catch these hands if you don't start walking up these steps boy. I'm going to give you an old school Brooklyn ass-whoopin." The boy, terrified of receiving an old school Brooklyn ass-whoopin, listened to his mother and went inside.

Saturday morning arrived, and the boy woke up late. He grabbed his dirty cardboard and rushed to the competition site and managed to arrive just in time. When it was his turn to dance, he threw his dirty cardboard on the floor, and began to dance his heart out, proudly displaying his hours of practice.

He reached the conclusion of his dance routine, which resulted in him spinning on his head at a rapid rate. An audience member was smoking marijuana nearby and dropped his joint on the cardboard. What the boy didn't know was that his cardboard box was covered in gasoline. The cardboard lit up in flames. His spinning exasperated the flames and launched the flames onto the roof. The crowd began to chant, "The roof, the roof, the roof is on fire. We don't need no water let that mother-fucker burn, burn, burn."

The crowd, too caught up in the enthusiastic chanting, failed to call the fire department in time. The whole gymnasium caught on fire, killing many and injuring many more. It was a tragedy.

Jeff Sessions heard about this story and blamed weed for the tragedy. He said, "This is why weed is deadly, and why people who smoke weed are bad people. If marijuana was not accessible, this would have never happened."

Rev. Shaw Moore heard about this story and blamed dancing to be the cause of the tragedy. He exclaimed, "Dancing is the devil! If dancing was illegal, this would have never happened."

A leader for an alternative renewable energy company heard about this story and blamed gasoline to be the cause of the tragedy. He said, "We don't need to be using gasoline anymore! If everyone was using alternative renewable energy sources, then this would have never happened. "

Other members of the community blamed the lack of a father in the child's life for the erroneous behavior which led to this great tragedy. They said, "If a father was around, the boy wouldn't have been so misguided and careless, and this would have never happened."

The mayor of New York did a public address to the community and said, "My heart goes out to all the family members who lost someone they loved to this tragedy...By the way, remember to vote for me this upcoming November for re-election. I care about this community, and I care even more about your votes. Thank you Brooklyn!"

The mother was downtrodden when she heard the news about her son and blamed her son's inability to listen to her to be the cause of the tragedy. She said, "He should have listened to me. I tried to tell him the world is too dangerous, he should just watch life through a screen. If he would have just stayed inside and watched TV with me, this would have never happened."

The End