Love in 1865

Chapter Twenty-Five

"I arrived in Ludovica about this time last year. The butcher needed a hand, so he hired me for half of his wages. I agreed. At the time I was visiting, there wasn't enough room at the inn, so Cassian offered that I stay with him until there was. He was shy, lonely, and kept to himself in his study or at the main desk. That was until the day I was supposed to make my leave for the inn. I was walking across the street when I heard a quarrel and then a young woman brushed past me into the cemetery. It wasn't my business until I saw the man chase after her with a rope in hand. I watched their struggle near Cassian's house before I struck the man with a spade I found nearby. Then I choked him until he was no longer conscious. I would have killed him if it hadn't been for the girl. Her neck was sorely bruised and her clothes had tears. She was hardly awake as she spoke, but she said, 'He's a bad guy, but his sons need him.' It was a fair argument, so I allowed it. So instead of killing the man, I carried the girl into Cassian's home. Cassian and I thought it best to leave the man where he lay. Cassian was extremely skidish about helping the injured girl because he was kind of a ladies man. I did the best I could to make sure she wouldn't be in pain, but I was not as much help as her mother would be. We were able to find her parents and bring her mother back to the library to take care of her. Upon driving back and forth between the parent's home and there, I would find the plot of land I would make my own. The mother was utterly heartbroken that her daughter would go through such a disaster. The poor girl didn't wake for two days, but she was in such great pain that she dressed herself and fell back asleep in the hall. On the third day, her mother took the girl home and said nothing about the event to her husband. I finally left that same day to begin building my home. That event would never escape my mind. I couldn't fathom a nineteen year old girl being attacked by a man nearly twice her age because she said 'no'.

A day or so passed. I had been on a visit to the plot to write up some plans. When I looked up from my sheets, I heard the door slam and the girl ran out of sight from her parent's home. The very man who attacked her days prior began to run after her. That was until I got on my horse and stopped him. He remembered me from the graveyard. Of all the ways this man could have reacted, he chose to threaten me. I wasn't afraid of him before, and just because his name was Agarose and that his father had a title did nothing but amuse me. His frustration caused him to glow a burning coal red. Agarose then proceeded to slap my horse. That was my breaking point. If he had just kept talking I would've been fine with putting the matter to rest since the girl would be safe. To put it mildly, I brought him away from the girl's home over into the deepest of my plot. There I began to torture him. I wipped him for every threat he made. I used a jagged blade to represent animal bites on his arms and legs for every time he made fun of the girl. The final punch was for the poor mother of the girl. I knew the girl would never feel safe; her mother would lose her second daughter. I tossed his breathing, limp body on the opposite side of town where I knew he would be found. And yet I proved myself victor when he was even too afraid to say anything when he knew my name and face.

Months passed and I never saw either Caspian, the girl, or Agarose since that January. The seasons took a turn when at the local bar, Agarose was planning to celebrate his birthday there. My boss was hired to provide special sausages and meat entrees. I gladly accepted what I was about to do. And this part is the one I regret the most. I had in my possession a slow acting poison that if enough is consumed, can kill a man in a matter of either days or weeks. It was something that I learned from my time with the natives. I put the poison in every dish that I made. My boss went on his own with the meal to the gathering, but I entered early in disguise so that no one could recognize me. I would easily fail. The girl's mother was working there and noticed me. She came to talk and mentioned that her husband owned the bar. I immediately explained to her the situation and how dire it is that her husband not eat anything at the party brought by the butcher. She scowled and told me that she'd do no such thing because her husband, despite all that she told him about Agarose, was planning on handing her daughter to him as his wife. She was still bitter about her first daughter's marriage and death. Her daughter was finally moving on and she was proud. The woman wanted to do something and thought that maybe his death or near-death would help him see things differently. I respected her wishes because I too saw that the girl deserved far more than the monster I was planning to kill.

Within the suggested time period, hysteria grew over a "stomach flu" that was all over town. At least twelve people would succumb to the disease before Agarose. Sure many innocent people were affected by my doing, but it didn't change that the girl would be free of Agarose forever. Even my own boss would fall victim, and I gained the entire business and all the wages. The only sickness that I held guilt for at the time was the girl's father. I tried every antedote and medicinal plant I knew to keep the man alive. His wife and I both knew that it was futile.

Only one other person knew about the poison and had access to it: Cassian. By the time I had thought up the plan, I gave the rest to him as a promise that I would never use it to kill a human being again. Cassian did more than agree with the plan. He thought that if Agarose was out of the way that the girl- who now worked and lived with him- would finally fall in love with him. With her dad being ill also, Cassian also believed that once he died, he would be completely free of judgement to start courting his daughter. But he didn't die fast enough. The fatal flaw of Cassian Ambrose, other than timing and thought, would be his pride. He was so sure the girl was falling for him. Instead, he made the mistake of sending her to the butcher shop where I happened to work.

She was so vibrant and gleeful when she entered my shop. Despite the long day she had, she took to our minimal conversation with care. She didn't know me or recognize me at all. Thank goodness for that. I would rather that second chance meet I got than her remembering me choking out Agarose. When I thought she had left me for good, she came back in after sending someone away with her order and offered me the most human experience that I had never had before. She made me feel like Ludovica could be home. I forgot my guilt and shame for one evening. From that point on she was all I could think about. We had quite a few run ins after that fateful day- the day her father passed away. I was chopping wood for my fireplace when the girl's frantic mother began to shout about her husbands recent out burst of pain. It took one look at him for me to see that someone had slipped another dose of that poison. The essence of time however, kept me from investigating. I took to my horse and we galloped to the library. I then simply set the girl on the horse and sent them to her parent's home where she was able to visit him one last time. I inquired Cassian about the left overs I gave him. To which he responded by revealing an empty case. I had the choice to react or to make sure that the girl was okay. The choice I made is what made me realize my feelings for her; I made it in time for her to fall in my arms and feel comfort.

Something I knew that would continue to haunt me is that even though I came to this separate town I still had the same habits. I still had the urge to kill those who hurt people for whatever invalid reason. When I arrived, I had only ever killed one man. I knew that if I left today or tomorrow that the number would be somewhere in the thirties. And I killed them all because I wanted to protect one girl. The Sheriff's men were here because someone other than Cassian, your mom, and now you know. I will not fight back when the reason for what they are doing is justice. I would not be saying the same tale if they had chosen to attack you or Natalina."