Love in 1865

Chapter Thirteen

I waited everyday that week for Cassian and Izaak to return. Cassian ended up having to leave to do some paperwork with the lawyer, so the shops have been closed all week. For his birthday, I got Izaak a bloodhound. I knew he liked to go hunting and he didn't always have a friend with him, but I knew he'd appreciate a dog. The dog was so sweet and small but so messy. He ran around in circles and would run into things. But due to my clever thinking, and boredom, the dog and I stayed at Izaak's log cabin. With Izaak's size, everything he built was to his need. His chair by the fire made me feel just as small as he did standing next to me, and each night that I stayed, I slept there with the dog in my arms.

One morning I woke up and the dog was gone. I whistled and looked everywhere for it, but when I walked into the kitchen, I found the dog in Izaak's arms licking his face. "You are finally home! Happy late birthday, I hope you like him." He set the dog down and chuckled. "He is almost perfect, I just need to train him. Thank you for watching the house, and for my little minion." We sat together in his fireplace chairs and enjoyed each other's company. "So Mama, she told the whole family about you. My Siostra is convinced that we were lying about the pretty Rachela from Ludovica. But my Ojciec and Wujek were more concerned with why I didn't bring you with me. I got chewed out a few times, but nothing serious. It's crazy how much you've changed my world." I beamed and chimed, "I have been so bored without you and work besides when your little troublemaker ran wild. I am so glad that you are back." He held my hand and his dog jumped onto my lap. "Did you name him?" I shook my head as I scratched his itches. "He really likes you, you should." I wracked my head for a name, and scratched his ears. "Beast. I like that name." Beast licked my face and then jumped to Izaak's lap before running off into the kitchen. Izaak began to kneel in front of me and held both my hands. "So while I was with my family, I thought about something. When you entered my life, you didn't just walk on in and take a seat, you crashed in and began to take the reigns like you were in control and you knew what you were doing. I don't know what I was thinking months ago when I took off my apron and followed you, and I certainly didn't know what I was thinking when you came fishing with me. I wasn't sure of myself every time I brought you with me on a venture, quite frankly, I don't know what we are. But I do know that you are important, I care, and while I generally don't agree with my Mama, I do believe that I am a little vague, but I am not used to having someone genuinely care. I don't know where you stand- and there sure seems to be a lot of those 'I don't knows', but I'll get there." I leaned forward until my my forehead touched his, "Then maybe instead of focusing on just you or just me the focus should be on us. The answers aren't always very clear, but if we stop acting like we don't know what's going to happen and let it happen, we will find clarity." He kisses my forehead, but Beast got jealous and jumped on my lap. "He is going to have to learn who is in charge. That's a lesson for another day, but today I want to be with you." I smiled at Beast when he curled in my lap. "I'd like that very much. Let's go make breakfast." I set Beast on the floor and wrapped Izaak in a hug.

We spent that morning making pancakes and eggs with a side of meat- make that meat with a side of pancakes and eggs. I cooked him a half pound of bacon, and he ate it like the portion was for a mouse. My only struggle- besides keeping a straight face- was getting up onto his dining room chairs. I had to get help each time with the seating due to my shrewish height. After the meal, I was going to get the dishes done but Izaak pulled me away. "I can clean up the mess! The last time you went about cleaning up a meal mess you got chased by a snake," he mused. I put my hands on my hips and watched as he did the chore, but I couldn't be upset when the dog was pawing at my skirt. "I suppose I will take the dog on a lonely walk out in the woods. Come Beast, let us leave your master to his chore." I opened the door and let the dog out.

The air was chilling, and the trees were bare with no animal in sight. Beast found a large acorn and instantly picked it up. "No, Beast! Don't eat random acorns." We kept walking down the trail at a snail's pace because the dog had to sniff and mark every tree. During our journey, we found the lake I had been to with Izaak in the early autumn. I went to the dock and sat at the water's edge while the dog drank the water. I felt a newness to me that I hadn't felt before. A lot has changed since January at the graveyard. Maybe a little too much too my liking- but I enjoyed it. The dog excitedly barked and ran from the water and up the dock to me. Following behind the dog's soft tapping came the thick thuds of Izaak's boots. "How am I ever to teach Beast if he is so attached to you?" I gave him my hand, and he pulled me up to my feet. "I suppose you must learn to take charge- be the master of the master. Tell me, did you ever think that you would get to where you are at today?" Izaak held me at the waist and watched the dog chase it's shadow. "I started out the year with a band of Indians and now I am here with a home, a dog, and a good friend. I have never been so happy with my life until moments like this where you and I are together out in the country. No, I never stopped to think about getting to a place like this. In January I thought I was coming here to lead my meaningless life until the next opportunity opens its doors. Why?" I leaned against the railing of the dock and pondered aloud, "In January, I mourned the one year anniversary of my sister's death, and now I am here, with you, and I don't know how to process all this happiness. How do I do that?" Taking my hand, he took one step after the other and then abruptly took a large step back. "See, you just keep taking it one step forward at a time. If you go back too big a step, then the rest of the world may let go of you. If you ever need a reason to remember to keep moving forward, you always have people." I stared into his eyes and asked, "Do I have you?" "I care to be strong for the both of us, and I know that you can do the same if you need to."