Love in 1865

Chapter Twenty-Two

It wasn't much longer after that when Izaak and I left. We rode in our normal buggy down to the 'Book&Tailor Shoppe' so I could get my things. It was very impromptu of us to decide to live together, but I couldn't trust Cassian anymore. I entered the building without knocking and marched to my room to pack my things. Cas appeared moments after I had already began, demanding, "What are you doing?" I hardly looked up and continued to work. "Moving in with Izaak so we can take care of Natalina. Is there a problem with that?" He desperately shut the door behind him. "I cannot bare the thought of that! You have it good here, couldn't you take care of her here?" "Izaak is her new father and I am her new mother: she needs us both, Cas. Besides, its not like you were jumping to my defense today or yesterday, or when I was carried out to the jail." He covered the top of my bag with his torso and rejected my words. "There wasn't much I could do- you are a strong woman who can handle herself. I knew you would be fine." "Is that what you were whispering to your new buddy Mr. Munkres? Do you even remember how he treated me a few months back? Do you even care anymore?" I pushed him away from the bag and put my dresses inside it. Looking around one last time to make sure I had everything, the place felt as dismal and empty as it started when I first walked in. Cassian stood mere inches from me with his arms open wide. "Can't you see how much you matter to me? I will get down on my knees and beg if I must; I will be your fool if I must; you can hate me and stay, just don't leave me for him." I didn't even have to think as I rejected him. "I wanted you so badly to be my friend, but you pushed me away when you needed me. I needed you to stand up for me for the past two days and you had tea with the man who has made my life miserable time and time again!" "There is no hope in this talk is there? There is no escaping or making it out without injury?" I buttoned my bag as I retorted, "Well according to the sentence you were allowing me to be held on, apparently I'm a killer." "I will die f you leave me here, Gwyn. I will die!" With the bag in my hand, I made my way towards the door, but he stepped in front before I could open it. "Well, you are a big strong man who can handle himself, you will be fine. I've got to go, Cas. This isn't fun and games, this is me moving on with my life, with or without your consent." Almost as if instinctively he drew into my face and drank from my lips. I was able to take control and turn him away from the door before pushing him. "Goodbye Cas. I hope your friend finds a witness to the case. I really tried, Cas. I'm sorry." I shut the door behind me and walked down the halls one last time before leaving the shop entirely. Izaak put my stuff in the box on the port side of the buggy before we rode off. "Was Cassian upset?" I rested my head on him as he drove. "He was very upset, but for all the wrong reasons. I guess that's what happens when you forget what good you have."

Seeing my home for the first time in days was overwhelming. Sure, it was newly and officially my home, but it was all I could handle once we arrived. Izaak opened the front door and I was instantly pounced on by a wagging, hairy, ball of fur. "Woah there, Beast!!! How've you been, you crazy mut!" Izaak sent the dog outside and set out a blanket for Natalina to roll on. We unpacked my stuff from the buggy and set them on the parlor floor. Obviously neither of us planned for the sudden move, but since it had to be done, there really wasn't anything to do about it but adapt. That was for another day, I needed a day to cope with my losses. I took a long awaited seat in one of the giant chairs next to the fireplace and became encompassed by it's comforting hold on my body. Natalina began to whimper, and I jumped from the chair to her side before Izaak could even hear. She stank horrifically- a diaper change was more than a must! Her sobbing only grew worse as I began to take off her drenched diaper, but I couldn't understand her desperate cries. "Natty baby, what is the matter? You are completely changed and we fed you not too long ago!" I held her in my arms and began to rock back and forth to no avail. As a final resort, I began to rub and pat her back as I hummed to her whatever tune I made up in my head. Izaak came to check on us when I felt a sludge of ooze trail down my back and she stopped fussing. He began to laugh as I stood there soaking in her vomit, but I was more than happy to have found that she wasn't fussing to fuss and that she was needing some help. "I'll take her, go get changed, Rachela." I kissed Natty's face before handing her off Izaak. Luckily she hadn't puked in my hair, though I couldn't say the same for my dress. My bag from the coast was already in Izaak's bedroom, so I needn't to stress about what to wear. The first item that came from the luggage was green and creme checkerboard dress that Leokadia had made for me. Despite there being only a few hours until dark, I thought that it would be welcoming to try it on.