Barrier | Percy Jackson (DISCONTINUED)

Chapter 37 | The Great Unknown

Not until I saw her again.

I couldn't explain it. I couldn't  even comprehend how it felt to see her again. I expected to be angry, depressed even. Instead, all I felt was relief. I knew it wasn't in totality, I still had questions, reasons, and justifications about ten years ago. But seeing her made me hope that things will get better. Seeing her made me realize a lot of things. And I hated that.

I'd like to think it was because they don't deserve that forgiveness, but I would be lying to myself.

The truth is, I feel like I'm not worthy to ever experience peace again. That this burden of guilt, anger, and bitterness deserves to be with me until I go to the Underworld.

I also can't accept the consequences of my disapperance now that she made me realize them.

I sighed audibly once more when I got nearer to the passageway from Camp Jupiter to Camp Half-Blood. I raised my hand and pushed it through inside the way. I exhaled and pushed forward.

I tried to focus on what I have to do. Hazel said that we should meet at the border of Camp Jupiter but I decided to take a few minutes in Camp Half-Blood. I know it sounds crazy but I just wanted to feel something other than the feeling seeing her gave me. It's confusing and frustrating at the same time. And I needed normalcy, and as I hate to admit it, feeling that deep pain and sorrow is the normal I experienced everyday for the past ten years.

I crossed the Big House and I saw the shadows of Luke and Lace at the corner. I didn't know what they were talking about but it seemed intense. So, I decided to take a closer look.

Luke and Lace were talking heatedly when I reached them. Both commanders huddled together at the side while the rest of the Alpha team was not in sight. They were probably roaming the borders.

"And when were you planning on informing us about this?!"I heard Lace say aggresively. "You just want us to start walking in this place without any knowledge about what you four are to these people!"

"It's a mistake on my part, sir. A big mistake and I am apologizing for it. There is nothing more that I can say."Luke said defeatedly.

"Damn right it is, Castellan!"Lace retorted. "When di Angelo and Jackson leaves with Levesque, all the remaining Beta must report it all to me and the rest of the Alpha. We can't afford to be left in the dark here."

"Sir, yes, sir."Luke replies stiffly.

I immediately stepped back, not wanting to be near the tension between the two commanders. I shook my head and just walked away from them and started heading towards my initial direction.

I left this place thinking I would never want to come back. I agreed to Chaos' invitation without thinking it a hundred percent through. Probably because I was incredibly tired at the time so my mind wasn't working very well. My decision had so many flaws and I didn't even know it until after ten years when I set my feet onto these grounds again.

Until I saw her face again.

And now, just before I leave towards another unknown, I just wanted to fix one mistake I made. I pulled out a list, it was filled with names with checkboxes on the side. I wrote them last night when my head was all mush and all I could think of was what they all felt when they left.

These are the list of people who never did anything to me and yet, I left.

And I'm headed to the first accessible person I could think of.

I stopped at my tracks when I reached the opening of the stables. Instantly the pegasi all called for my name. They must have sensed who I was.

My lord, they said