S.O.S. [Depressed!France X England]

Chapter 8: Confused

When Arthur came back where he had left, he couldn't recognize the nurse until he came right in front of her. He suddenly stopped when he realized her, he seemed surprised a bit, and he felt nervous, hoping to hear some informations about the Frenchman. He frozened for a while, and stepped back, apologizing her. His throat was aching as if it was burning. So he gulped, hoping to stop the pain that was spreading through his whole body, but it was useless.

"Sir, are you okay?"asked the nurse.

"I-I just wanted to ask about Francis Bonnefoy...I'm his friend."said he, ignoring the question of her. She checked the file in her hands for a while and looked at Arthur.

"He is going to be fine, he just needs to rest. However..." The nurse stopped talking, crossing her eyebrows, which got England's heart faster and made his breathing slower a bit.

"However?"repeated he, his voice was trembling a bit.

"As what we can see, he lost so much blood, it can take a little longer for him to come to his senses. Also it seems like it isn't the first time he did this."

"W-What are you talking about? It isn't the first time?!" Arthur's eyes widened, he crossed his thick eyebrows.

"Sir, don't worry, he is going to be okay as I said, just give him some time."said she. When she opened her mouth to say something again, her phone rang in her pocket. She picked it up, started talking with the other person on it, and left there quickly.

Arthur just looked around, and immediately went back to the entrance hall and leaded to the consultant, almost running and also sweating.

"Um, e-excuse me, I want to visit a patient..."

"I'm afraid the visiting hours ended for today, sir, you may come tomorrow."

Arthur didn't say anything, he just leaded to the exit slowly, it seemed like he was captured in his own thoughts.

Was I just too blind to see nothing? I shouldn't have left him alone last week... The only thing I thought was nothing but myself, he is now in pain just because of me... How dare he... Leaving the person who loves him?! Doesn't he think that I also have problems inside myself?! Doesn't he know that we all share different pains and those are the ones which keep connected us with each other?! Except being nations, those are the ones which make us feel like humans... Ending something?... What? He would be happy if he sees me crying? He would definitely have a strong punch from me for what he did...

He stopped when he realized that he already left the hospital and looked around in order to understand where he was at the moment. Actually he had to go to his house back and need to keep calm. However, he thought the opposite... He didn't want to let France's house stay ownerless since he thought that he had to take care of his things while he was in the hospital. So he decided to have one or two nights in the Frenchman's house and directed his feet to his house and started walking.

At least I should take care of his house, it looked really bad when I found him...

He didn't want to remember that scene, but he already reminded it... A body which was almost dead... A blood pond... Broken glass pieces... He wiped the tears which were about to fall down from his cheeks and started pacing faster, like he was restless.

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When he came back, the first thing he had to do was, of course, cleaning all the mess that the Frenchman hadn't cleaned for a whole week. Normally Arthur would be annoyed and disgusted of cleaning other's mess, especially if the issue was about Francis. However, this time, even if Francis was right next to him that moment, he wouldn't let him to do it his own job. Arthur wasn't such a person anyway, regardless of the fact that they had many wars in the past and how much they fought. They had an invisible bond... A bond that didn't make them want to kill each other even if they had their own reasons to do such a thing. However, the thing that Arthur didn't know was the exact truth about their bond. He couldn't call it as a hatred,  brotherhood or friendship... Something was really different...

He winced and his eyes widened with the flashing thought inside his head...

"To be in love is not the same as loving. You can be in love with a woman and still hate her."

He remembered this quote all in a sudden... It was from an old novel which Ivan lent him to read.

The Brothers Karamazov... Dmitri Fyodorovich Karamazov was actually right about these words of him... Or... Was he...?  Wait, is it really about... loving or something? No, no, no, it can't be... Me and him?! What the hell I am thinking about, he is just a... Well, not actually a friend or an enemy, but still it doesn't make any sense for me to say that I love him. Loving is different...

"To be in love is not the same as loving..."

DMITRI, JUST SHUT UP!  Dostoevsky, I hope you are happy driving me crazy with your novel. I shouldn't have borrowed that book from Ivan at the first place... Or I just should stop reading books for a while, I'm so confused that I cannot think properly... Loving him? Or being in love with him? That's true that I was so scared when I saw him, but wasn't my reaction just so normal anyway? I bet even Ludwig or Russia would see him in that situation, they would be scared or panicked too.

He shook his head side to side quickly and began cleaning...

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Actually, I had different plans for this chapter, but it seems like I'm going to write them in the next chapter since I filled my word limit in this chapter. I don't want to pass the lines that I put for every story I write. For example, I wrote about 600-800 words for each chapter in "The Paths We Have Passed", and my limit for this story's chapters is between 800-1000 words at total.
So, bye for now, see you in the next chapter.~