beach//reece bibby

20.3.17

This fuchsia coloured, fleece blanket was too difficult to part with for the moment. I was thankful the weather had taken a turn for the worst, it was dark outside and I could hear the harsh rain crashing against the roof; I had celebrity MasterChef on at a high volume, a way to mask the noise of the rain.
That was my excuse for not going to the beach today. Another was that Reece had my notebook, and I couldn't act calm about it, celebrity MasterChef was also another distraction.
I watched as the four celebrities unveiled a stack of fresh ingredients, and began getting flustered deciding what to cook. I was picturing myself in their shoes, and taking the mince, the bouquet of herbs and the pots of beans, and turning it into a chilli con carne.

River popped his head around the door, he smiled as he saw my glowing and cosy set up, the dog was on my lap, the curtains drawn and an assemblage of candles were flickering on top of the mantelpiece.

"I was just going to grab some food for us all, I was wondering if you wanted to come?" He asked. My eyes fell back onto the TV screen, watching someone squidge the raw meat between their hands in an attempt to make a burger.

"I would," I smiled, pushing Matcha off of my lap and the blanket too.
I perched in the passenger seat, watching  River carelessly flick through all his CDs, before picking out his favourite, Busted.
The speaker crunched and rattled before adjusting to the harsh tones of the electric guitar, playing the beginning of 'Crashed The Wedding'.
We began moving at a fast speed, the glares of other cars blurred together into this bright emulsion of colours. The rain had stopped, but the roads were still left marbled with water, and the delicate beads of water still gripped on to the car.

"You've been spending a lot of time at the beach recently," River spoke as he adjusted the volume on the music, his eyes not once coming off the road. I didn't say anything to him, it was a fact that I had. "Why?" he perked up, shaking his head like he didn't understand.

"I think you know why," I put it bluntly, he caught his breath and nodded with realisation.

"Can I join you next time you go?" he asked, I brought my knees up to my chest and hugged them tightly, I rested my head on top and looked over at River. He gave me a sympathetic smile and I knew he just wanted to fill the role of the older brother, however, I liked my space. I also like the boy who I meet every day at the beach.

"if you want," I shrugged in a low voice. "How's it going with Jamie?" I asked because he was accumulating more time at this house than at his, it wasn't ordinary.

"I think he's struggling, I'm giving him space in hope it'll work, but we'll see," he sighed. "I'm still yet to show him the beach," he said, a subject that I thought we'd passed.

"do you want to?" I asked,

"I think it'll good for me to go back, it'll be difficult, that's why I thought we could go together, a way to ease me back in, you know?" I could see where he was coming from, but time had passed.

"It's not scary, I go there for headspace and it really helps. I feel close," I opened up, I could see River bite down on his lower lip, his eyes glossed over. "Maybe just come in for a meal at The Cliffside, you're at the beach but you won't be anywhere close to the place," I suggested, and he nodded.

"Maybe the whole family should, it'd be good for us all." He nodded and I agreed. River badly parallel parked outside our local Chinese, almost whacking the Mercedes behind and scuffing the bonnet. We didn't though, and that's what's matters is what he told me before he exited the mini. I watched him awkwardly shuffle into line, gazing solemnly up at the menus board, like he hadn't already picked and reminded me of everyone's orders. After reciting his order he sat on a plastic chair, a massive cherry tree plant hiding him from me.

I looked down on my phone, a message on Facebook popped up from Reece Bibby. I sighed as I unlocked my phone. He knows I have Facebook and now he knows I'm easily contactable.

Shiloh, where are you? I know it's raining but as you said 'even in the rain'

I smiled. He knew me and minute things that would get to me, he perfectly placed his words and made me feel bad for taking a day off, away from him.
I didn't know what to type back. A green circle appeared by his name, and the dreaded three dots lurked at the bottom of the screen, jumping with anxiety.

Shiloh, I know you're there. You've got to stop leaving me on seen.

I'm not.

I  replied back. He sent me a smile before resending his friend request. I accepted, I didn't want to bring up this stupid fucking notebook because clearly he hadn't read it, and if he did, his opinions on me hadn't changed. We were still 'acquaintances.' Reece's words, not mine.