Iron Knight - Clan of the Rim Chronicles #2

7

I FOUND MYSELF INSIDE the barn without really remembering how I got there. It was just the first place my mind wandered to after my talk with Eeira. It was the only place I could be truly alone without anyone finding me. It was also the one place that reminded me the most of Calder.

Running through the snow and hoping my footprints would be covered in the downpour, I bursted into the barn and closed the doors behind me. I knew it wouldn't be very long until someone noticed I was missing and came looking for me, so I had to make my time here as valued as I could. I needed to think, and I couldn't do so in the suffocating walls of the palace. If I tried I was sure my brain would burst.

Sighing in relief of the quiet I took a moment to look around the barn. The memories quickly came flooding back of mine and Calder's first kiss here, and the way he had touched me and how I'd seen his scars. I could still feel his lips on mine that last time as I took in his powers. They were still lingering inside me, washing its last remnants through my veins like boiling water and burning me to the bone. I couldn't get him out.

The flashes of my vision quickly shoved the memories aside, and they stabbed at my temples and my chest. The red of his blood glazed over my vision, and when I closed my eyes all I could see was his beaten face. I slid down the door and sat on my legs, tightly grasping the stray straw next to me as tears slipped down my face.

I hated this. I hated that my life had come to this in just the span of a few months. I wanted all of the pain, suffering, fear and hardship to be over. All I wanted was to be back in Phoenix with my real parents and my sisters, and Calder by my side as if we were all normal. But normal was the furthest thing Calder and I could ever be.

A couple of the horses huffed and brought me out of my state, shakily pulling me to my feet. I walked over to Calder's white steed who had somehow become mine, standing in his stall right next to Calder's black horse. I ran my hand over the white mane of my horse and he nickered in response, turning his head to nudge my hand. It was if he could feel the turmoil I was experiencing, and through his eyes I almost saw it in him too. He missed his master. I missed the man my heart pounded so effortlessly for.

"I know," I whispered to him, his ear flicking towards me in attention. "I know. He's gone. He's gone and I don't know if he's ever coming back. And I can barely say his name myself anymore without tearing a piece of my heart out with it. I wish we could ease each other's pain."

The horse then turned his head to nest in the crook of my shoulder as if hugging me, his cool breath puffing out his nose. I wrapped my arms around his neck and hugged him back, pressing my face into his soft mane as I felt yet another hole sink into my chest.

I brushed him for a while after that and fed him and the other horses some frosted apples like they enjoyed, feeling a little less weighted for just the moment at least. I knew the stablemen didn't give them the attention they needed, not like Calder did, so it felt peaceful to do so and see how happy it made them.

My peace was short lived as I expected though when the barn doors suddenly flew open and there stood a flustered Thorne.

"Finally!" he groaned, throwing up his hands. "I've found not the lost princess, but the missing one. Do you realize the whole palace has been in a panic looking for your ass? I've been across the entire grounds and through every room and corridor of the castle twice already. What the hell are you doing in here?"

Staring at him a moment without a word I simply shrugged and turned back to brushing my horse.

Thorne, out of breath, replied, "A shrug. Really. Ok then."

He walked over to me and then noticed the tear stains on my cheeks, and his annoyed demeanor changed. "Hey, what's wrong?"

"I had a talk with Eeira today. I'm sure you heard since the whole palace was supposedly in a buzz about the topic. My coronation is in three days. On Sunday I'll be queen."