The Serious and The Stoic

Chapter 1

You've never noticed me before. So what's different now? I stare at you— no.. I think.. I'm staring through you as you speak animatedly about some club you were thinking of starting.

"Will you join?" You ask finally, an exuberant smile plastered on your carefree face.

I take the time to look at you; your silky blonde hair, your captivating eyes, your hands pressed on my desk so close to my own. "I don't see why not,"

And that's when it all started.

"Mister Aiko, you're going to be late for school,"

I didn't bother to glance up at my butler, a routine I've become accustomed to. "I'll be down in a minute," I finished jotting my last thoughts into my journal.

He let out a soft sigh and left. I found myself staring at the empty doorway for longer than I intended. After a few minutes, I tore myself away and stood, straightening out my blazer. I've been in the Host Club since the beginning but it almost feels like I haven't been there at all. I thought that being in the Host Club would pull me out of this underwater cage I'm trapped in but it hasn't, in fact, I think it just pushed me down further.

"Mister Aiko, we're here," my driver spoke.

I looked out the opened car door to my driver. When did I get into the car? I stepped out and was greeted by eager ladies who seem to find my inability to care attractive. I glanced around at them in an unamused fashion before walking past. I can't be bothered to show them attention right now, I had promised the new trainee, Haruhi, that I'd help him with his English assignment before school. The way this plan was made felt strange. He wasn't talking to me, he was more talking to himself in my general vicinity, giving himself a game plan for when he got home. I heard him mention an English assignment he wasn't too excited for and I guess I offered to help. I didn't notice I spoke until he thanked me. It's very unlike me to offer help, especially when I wasn't prompted, Haruhi seemed bewildered in the moment as well.

I reached the club room and saw that he was already there, in his Ouran uniform which is a big step up from what he wore when I first met him.

"Thank you so much for helping me, Aiko-Senpai," he had his work neatly stacked on the table in front of him.

I nodded. "It's fine, I don't help people often. We'll call it my monthly good deed," I attempted a lighthearted joke as I sat across from him. I believe the joke didn't quite reach him, all I received was a blank stare. I cleared my throat lightly to clear the silence. "I'll proofread what you have," I mumbled as I reached for the packet in front of him.

He handed me a red pen and I read over his essay  making corrections along the way, it took longer than it actually felt. I read and wrote but I wasn't paying attention. The world had fogged over and I had begun to move in autopilot.

"Thank you again, Senpai, this means a lot," his soft voice reached my ears.

I looked up at Haruhi who already had his bag packed. I glanced at the table and saw the essay and pen had already been packed away.

"It was my pleasure," I mumbled and looked out the window.

"You should head to class, or you'll be late senpai," he called out casually over his shoulder as he walked out of the room.

I stood with a sigh. Right. Class.

I was in my class before I could even process that I was walking and I was already sitting. Everyone was talking loudly, waiting for the teacher. Their voices seemed to fade away, and sound a lot like the dull rush of the ocean, the waves rolling onto the sand. I slowly began to fall into that ocean, the world around me getting swallowed by the lull of the waves.