Princely [MxM]

Ma Boi James

After a few moments I let out a choked sob and my knee buckled. I fell to the ground and my body trembled pitifully. That's all I was now. Pitiful. Weak. Broken.

"Alabaster?" Nikolai sounded concerned and stretched his hand out to me. My lip quivered as I wrapped my arms around myself and sat back on my legs. "We need to leave Alabaster, James is waiting for you."

I didn't even flinch at his name, it was too surreal, it had been so long. I made no sound but my eyes brimmed with tears.

"Are you... all right? Did something happen? What's wrong?" Nikolai asked and crouched down in front of me, I kept my gaze glued to the ground. He placed a hand on my shoulder, but he moved too fast. I flinched and trembled when panic soared through my limbs for a brief moment.

Nikolai searched my face but didn't seem to come up with any reasonable explanation. He finally let out a long sigh and scooped me up faster than I could protest. The vampire tried to be extra gentle as he began taking long strides to whatever exit he thought there was.

But what I had experienced...

It wasn't as easy to just walk away from that.

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The car door was opened and Nikolai placed me inside. I curled up into a tight ball and refused to look at anyone. That is until a hesitant palm brushed over my shoulder.

"Allie?" He breathed quietly and the muscles in my body went taut with a cold dread. I didn't want Jamie to know what happened. I didn't want him to see me like this. "Alabaster?"

I remained silent and kept my eyes shut tight.

"Please talk to me, Allie," his voice cracked and I felt so terrible for making him hurt, "it's been months, I thought- I thought that- I d-don't- I can't. Allie, you're- you're scaring me."

That cold stone of dread remained rooted inside me, coiled tight. Jamie began to reach out for me again but Nikolai stopped him.

"James, he'll speak when he's ready. You have to be patient," the vampire whispered softly and Jamie made a choked noise. But he didn't understand, he wanted Allie back, he wanted his best friend back. Not this terrified ball of submission.

The car moved forward and Jamie settled with dragging my body against his. Despite my shaky mental state I welcomed his warmth and let my head rest in his lap while he finger combed my hair.

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When I woke up I was lying in a bed of white sheets. I threw my body up in unreasonable terror. Sweat slicked my brow and heat seared up my neck and through my cheeks. It felt like waking up from a nightmare, but I couldn't remember anything, all that remained was lingering fear.

I scrambled to the other side of the bed, patting around for my comfort.

"Lux?" I whimpered, my voice cracking, "L-Lux? Where are you?"

I felt tears spill when my search became futile and he was nowhere around me. In the back of my mind, I secretly waited for him to come striding out of the bathroom to hold me and shush me. But I also felt at ease that he wasn't there. A wave of sick relief that he was gone and he wouldn't be angry with me.

I sat back against the headboard and drew my knees up to my chest. The room was doused in silver moonlight. It appeared that one of the heavy Prussian blue drapes had fallen out of place. I scanned the tidy room, a waist-high dresser, dark hardwood floors, slate grey walls. A white door across from the bed was ajar to reveal a bathroom. It was very minimalist, lacking in any personal objects. I deduced that it was probably a guest room. Though based on the decor it was nowhere in Cassius' palace.

I looked down in shame. Cassius. There was no way he'd want me after this, Lux had said as much. He was the only one that would want me, Cassius would be disgusted by my mere presence. But Lux wouldn't. I'm sure he would give me another chance, it wasn't my choice to begin with, Nikolai was the one that took me. He had to understand.

I stared ahead of me. Unable to sleep anymore. My mind roared with fears and doubts that I couldn't face alone. If only Lux were here he could tell me what to do. I couldn't survive on my own anymore, I had grown so accustomed to obeying Lux. He did everything for me and I did whatever he told me to. My lips felt chapped as I flicked my tongue across them.

It would be a very long time before I recovered from this.

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In the morning I was curled into a tight ball atop the sheets. On the bedside table sat a silver tray of steaming food. My mouth watered at the sight but I felt wary of it at the same time. It felt so out of place sitting there, but there was no way I was passing up food. My appetite was monstrous. So I slid it onto my lap and picked a piece of toast to nibble on.

Halfway through my breakfast, the door cracked open. I tensed and nearly stopped breathing until Jamie poked his head in.

"Allie?" He whispered and I felt tears come to my eyes, food forgotten, I rushed over to him, but he was there quicker. I welcomed the comforting embrace of his arms and held onto him like he'd vanish.

"Jamie, I missed you," I cried and rested my head on his shoulder he squeezed me tighter.

"I missed you too, what-what happened to you?" He whispered and pulled me to arm's length. I froze as a million responses ran through my head, none of them the truth.

"I-"

"The truth, Alabaster," he stated firmly, "no lying to me."

A very long pause ensued until I felt my eyes brimming with tears.

And I told him everything.

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By the end of my story I was a blubbering mess in Jamie's arms. My body quivered with each heavy sob and I could barely form a coherent word.

Jamie rubbed my back in circles and gave me a moment to call down.

"I do-don't want to... want to see C-Cassius," I whimpered and twisted my fingers in his shirt, which was, by the way, much more stylish than his usual wardrobe. Someone must have been dressing him up. There was a gnawing feeling inside me that it was probably Nikolai.

"But, Allie-"

"I don't want him t-to see- see me," I quickly amended and felt the crushing pain of my own words. What would he say? What would he do? After everything, what would he see? The Alabaster he loved or... me. Whatever I was now... wasn't the same.

"Alabaster, he's been looking for you for months. When you disappeared it crushed him. You need to see him. He needs to see you, Allie," Jamie pushed, "Cassius will come for you, he knows where you are. It's only a matter of time."

I nearly stopped breathing and put him at arms length.

A short pause.

"What?" I whispered with wide eyes, "what do you mean it's only a matter of time?"

Jamie blinked.

"He sent us to get you. Going himself could start a war," my friend explained.

"W-war? But-" I was confused. Wasn't there already a war?"

"Allie, listen, there's a lot that you don't know. We'll explain, just- take it easy. Rest up a bit," he assured me with a small nod. I felt an ache in my chest. How much had I really missed Jamie? A lot, apparently. I missed his little quirks and his cute squishy face and his adorable human morals.

"I don't want to," I whispered, afraid that I'd have nightmares. Afraid that I'd dream of Lux and Cassius and everything I'd been through in less than a year. "I can't sleep."

"I'll be right here, I promise, Allie," Jamie assured me as I hugged a pillow to my chest. A feeble okay bubbled from my lips as I curled my body into a fetal position underneath the thick covers.

Jamie leaned his back against the headboard and ran his finger through my hair, putting me to sleep.