Princely [MxM]

cassius

It had been four fucking months since he'd disappeared.

Since he'd been taken from me at that stupid, stupid party.

I should've have never agreed. There should be been another way. Instead, I lost my mate and my brother. I hadn't even spoken to him since the day my father threatened to have him killed.

I grit my teeth and poured another glass of liquor.

Father.

Asmoday was no father of mine. He stopped being anything to me the day he threw Zisael to Samhain. The day he threw my brother to the wolves to fend for himself or be torn apart.

The glass shattered in my grip and I cursed under my breath.

I hated him.

I hated Asmoday and Samhain.

I hated Bane for taking Zisael from me too.

I cringed and buried my face in my hands. Zisael belonged with Bane. With someone who made him happy.

Just like Alabaster. There were so many things I regretted about Alabaster.

I just didn't understand how to cope. How to deal with having a mate and knowing that he didn't feel the same way. My emotions controlled my actions most of the time and it led to so much shame and guilt that I ended up pushing him away.

If only I could see him again. I would apologize. I'd give him anything he wanted. If he hated me now I wouldn't blame him. If he never wanted to look at me, then he wouldn't have to.

I choked back a sob and fisted my hair in my hands.

Alabaster.

I'm so, so sorry I haven't found you.

I scrunched my eyes shut. He was probably happier where he was.

He'd told me. Looked at me with that horrible expression on his face. He tried to tell me that his mate was coming.

If I had known his mate would be there. His real mate. I would have never...

But he was probably happy with whoever his mate was. He could finally have everything he wanted. Someone he could love easily.

Someone I never could and never would be for him.

I sank teeth into my knuckles to stop myself from crying.

I had lost control so many times these past months. Destroyed everything. Smashed whatever I touched. Cried day after day in frustration and crushing sadness.

They'd try to comfort me, help me. But all I could do was lash out and scream and cry like a child.

I was a child and Alabaster didn't need someone like that for him.

The door burst open and I didn't bother to lift my head.

"Go away," I growled, knowing it was Torryn. The only people I'd allow near me at all were him and Salem.

"Cassius, listen-"

"Get out, Torryn," I snarled and twisted my face towards him with a glare.

"It's Alabaster," he gasped and braced his hand against the doorway. I was on my feet in a second.

His name ticked in my head.

Alabaster.

Alabaster.

Alabaster.

"Beth just woke up. She knows where he is."