It's Ashton Not Ashley

17.

~Luke's POV again~

When I woke up, I yawned and checked my phone, expecting a good morning photo from Tara. But there was no photo of her and I frowned at my phone. I texted her, but it remained undelivered. I sighed as I rolled out of bed.

I threw on a black sweatshirt and put on a pair of black skinny jeans ripped at the knees. I threw on my black vans.

My hair was a mess and my eyes were puffy from me crying all night. I looked in the mirror and frowned at what I saw. The color I was wearing described my mood, and my hair described how I felt.

----

"Morning mom," I said. She was actually up, making breakfast. "Something smells lovely," I kissed her cheek and she smiled.

"Thanks love. Help me set the table," she said and I nodded, placing everything on the table.

I hugged her from behind as she placed the food on the table, helping herself.

She smiled again and I sat down, putting little food on my plate.

I watched her eat and played with my fork, pretending to put food in my mouth.
"What's wrong baby?" She asked and looked up at me.

I shrugged, trying to hold back tears. "S-She broke up with me," I said quietly. Although I didn't cry in front of Tara, I still felt like complete shit.

"What do you mean?"

"I mean, Tara was with someone else while with me. I only knew her for a couple of months, but I love her," I spoke quietly as I emptied my plate into the trash. It's true. No matter what I tell myself, I do love her.

My mom hugged me tight. "Luke, baby, I'm sorry for the bullshit I have caused you over the years. You mean the world to me and I'm sorry. I'm going to find a job, get an interview, and stop drinking. For you. I want you happy. I think the only way you can be happy is if I stop with my bad habits. Also, please talk to that Ashton boy. You were happiest when he was around."

I wiped my eyes and nodded. "I'll try. I hurt him a lot. I made him do bad things."

"What things?"

"I made him cut himself." I stood there. The rancid thoughts of me having been so rude to Ashton that he harmed himself ran for miles in my head. Suddenly, I felt like I was going to throw up. It occurred to me that I have hurt him, all because I was in denial about my sexuality.

"Baby, you didn't make him do anything. That was his choice to pick up the razor. That was his choice. Not yours. Just try and talk to him. Okay?"

I nodded. "I'll try mom."

----

We didn't have a car and of course, today had to be the day to rain. I groaned as I stepped outside, putting my hood up. I'm used to walking everywhere, even a mile to the school.

I started walking as quick as I could. I had Therapy by All Time Low blasting through my earbuds.

"Hey, loser!"

I looked up at the car that had shouted that my way and took out one of my earbuds. "That's not nice," I replied. "You don't know who that'll hurt."

The person in the car laughed and sped up, driving it through the mud. "You're so dumb, kill yourself!" The person shouted and drove off. I never got the chance to see who was in the car and I stood there.

I stood there, silently watching the rain soak my clothes, causing the mud to run down my jeans. A few tears may have rolled down my cheek, but I washed them away with my sleeves.