Hate You, Hate You Not. (unedited)

CHAPTER 4

I looked at my school uniform sprawled out on my bed. The blazer was black with the school logo on it. The skirt was a checker red and black skirt.

I had to admit I liked it. It's was one of the few things I like about school.

My mom and I went to shop for new uniform because my old ones were not fitting me properly. My skirt hung a bit loosely on my waist. My blazer lost some color and all my white shirts were small.

I had fun shopping with her, she wanted to bring Kathy along but I didn't really want an awkward shopping trip. I never said anything, and my mom just shook her head and smiled to herself. Saying that seems impossible at the moment.

I had to admit I felt really bad for my parents. They obviously wanted all of us to get along. They too were very disappointed with the twins and still are, but they understood my hesitation to trust the them so easily.

Today was school and I was a bit nervous. I didn't want people bothering me. I really preferred being alone because I was use to it, but I wouldn't mind having a few genuine friends here and there.

I was dragged out of my thoughts when I heard a faint knock on the door. "Come in!" I yelled not bothering to ask who it was.

"Um, mom said you have to came down for breakfast."

I turned away from my bed and saw Kathy standing awkwardly by the door.

"OK." I gave her small smile and she gave me one back.

I was waiting for her to leave so I could get dressed but she just stood there with a smile on her face. She was in her uniform already. Her hair was tired up and she had light pink lipstick. She looked really sophisticated as always in her uniform.

I was about to ask her to leave when she said," I know you hate me and Hayden right now. But I just want to say I am really sorry about how I treated you in the past, I'm sorry I wasn't the older sister you deserved, I'm sorry I made you hate yourself when there was absolutely nothing wrong with you and I'm sorry I let my jealously get the better of me."

"Why would you be jealous of me? " I asked curiously. Katherine was absolutely beautiful and smart. She was good at everything she did and so was Hayden.

Why would she be jealous of me?

"Because you always were the favorite." It wasn't Kathy spoke it was Hayden. He was wearing his school uniform.

He came into my room so quietly I never noticed and it seemed like he eavesdropped on our conversation.

I was still wearing my bathrobe and I only had my underwear underneath it. So I really wanted to dressed and then have this conversation. But I am too damn curious to hear what they have to say.

"That really isn't a legitimate reason." I said while looking at both of them confusingly. I never really considered myself as 'the favorite '.

Hayden sighed softly and leaned against the wall the behind him. He looked very stressed and tired. He was about to elaborate when Kathy spoke up, "You were always everyone's favorite. It's was like anyone who met you would forget we were in the room and you were the only one there. It was so frustrating. Everything we did to get at least some acknowledgement always went unnoticed. I remember when we were six I sang the Russian national anthem at thanksgiving and all I got was 'that was good ' . It was like no one cared but, then you sang the exact same thing and everyone stood up and told you how amazing you were and how did you learn that so fast. I felt really unimportant and jealous." she inhaled deeply and then exhaled.

What is it with those two always taking deep breathes in and out or sighing?

I remembered that. Me and Kathy were practicing the Russian anthem for months because we thought the language was beautiful. We were supposed to sing together but Kathy said she wanted to sing alone at the thanksgiving dinner so I let her, but only on the condition that I sang after her. I didn't realize all she wanted was the spotlight on herself.