Azrael's Whispers

Last one

So you saw it huh?
Yeah...
That's right.
Me.

Pathetic ain't I?

Hiding behind the smile,
Camaraderie,
With friends.
Acting like am strong and there for you.
When in fact, all I want to do,
Is weep.
It's like I'm scared to show you...
I am fragile too.

Am not strong.
And certainly not brave.
I have no scars...
No...
What I have are wounds.
Big, gaping holes...
All over me.

And they still bleed.

I've always been needy.
Always been soft.
The coldest of the cold,
That's me.
A complex mix.

I smile at the weirdness in my head.
And laugh with my insecurities like we're friends.
But in the end,
I'm just a human,
Who seeks freedom.

I act tough...
Keep to myself.
I claim to love the dark...
I want to be alone, I say.
When in fact,
I want you to notice me.

I befriend everyone,
Yet,
I know no one.
I'm always alone.
Off...
Somewhere in my head.

Staring at stars,
Listening to the breeze.
That's me,
I think.
That could be me up there.
Not alone.
With many friends like me.

But even when am with people like me,
Am still alone.
So I guess it's me.
I just can't fit.

I don't dream anymore...
I learned not to.

I planned a life for me.
It included a wife and kids.
But now,
I look back and see...
That's just fantasy.

You're young they say.
Ha!
You don't know the half of it.

I haven't been through much to be honest.
Just a few heartbreak and an overabusive childhood.
But already,
My mind had become so....
Cynical.

I'm drowning in my fears...
But I don't want escape.
Who will help me anyways?
I'm just the tall black, fool.
I make you happy and comfort you.

No need to worry bout me.
I'll just be jumping off this bridge.

Down there looks so nice.
It's quiet.
It's peaceful.
There,
I don't need to worry about who I am,
Or who likes me.
I'd be too overcome with my pain,
With my anguish.

I guess I'm craving damnation.
Crawling towards my own condemnation.
It's not you...
It's me.

Afterall,
I am a weak-minded human being.

I'll puff on last time...
Drink you good bye.
And then I'm off to jugement land...
I hear that,
That's home.

Home...
I like the sound of that.
I'm going.
Definitely I am.
Bye world.
It's been great knowing ya.
I'll be off now.

Go...
Going...
Gone.....

Going to tell the devil,
And my demons...
Hi!