Only You • Jeon Jungkook (EDITING)

Eight.

It's been almost a week since everything happened. Honestly, I haven't been doing so well. I'm trying my hardest to avoid Jungkook as much as possible. I still don't have the courage to look him in the eyes and talk about it. 

If I sit down and talk to him, I know I'll break down. But honestly, maybe I'm the one to blame. If I hadn't caught feelings for him, none of this would have happened.

I guess I only hurt myself.

I said I was going to focus on myself, trying to forget him, but everything reminds me of him. I can't focus, I can't eat, or practice. Everything I love I did with him, and now it reminds me of the times we spent together.

To focus on myself I need to get rid  of some things I've kept over the years. I know this is dramatic, and weird but I don't know what to do. I need to break out of this cycle of only thinking about him.

I go into my closet and collect all of the Timberlands boots, hoodies and shirts he's given me. For the amount of time we've known each other I have quite a bit of stuff from him. I'm giving him all the stuff that I have emotional attachment to, and it hurts letting all these stuff go.

I know things aren't going to go back to the way they used to be. I know my feelings might fade away over time, but my jealously won't. I can't just sit here and act like everything is okay. Hopefully returning everything will explain to him that I just want to acquaintances that work together, and that's it.

I go to my desk to see if I have anything of his. I slowly remember the notes he used to write to me in high school and sadly I've kept everything. I take out the box beside my desk and read through them.

"You did wonderful on your presentation today in English. Help me with mine next time! :)"

"Please sit with me at lunch"

"You're actually a bad ass. How did you do more push ups than me?"

"I heard you're going to prom with Eunwoo, you could've asked me instead..."

I read through all of them, remember how fun those days were. We used to share everything with each other, inspirable... always together. 

I finish up with the notes and close the box and carry it to the pile of things that belong to Jungkook.

Ah and one last thing.. the necklace he gave me before debut.

He said that it represented our trust and our friendship. That we'd always have each other's backs and be together forever. Us against the world... Ironic now huh?

But now I don't really believe it all. As hard it is, to give these back, I have to do it. I have to close this chapter of my life. I put the necklace in the box and place it on top of all his belongings.

No one is home today because they're preparing for their concert tonight. So I walk into his room without knocking.

I put all of his things on the bed and try as hard as I can not to snoop around. I close the door behind me and let out a big sign.

Uh, it's over. It really is...I just need to get ahold of myself and  sort out my feelings.

I told the guys that I won't go to the concert tonight. However, I miss seeing them on stage this is one of the worst ideas I have but I want to see them live.

I get ready and call a driver to take me. When I arrive I go backstage to see the boys, to say hello and greet them. But that's when I see her. I'm extremely stupid for coming here.

I feel myself getting sick. They've been dating for what... a week? And she's already coming to the concerts? 

I feel myself getting jealous again, and I hate myself for it. I want to be happy for him, I really do. I try to be the bigger person, I want toward her.

"Hi" I say softly.

"Oh hi! You must be Y/n! I heard so much about you from the boys!" She says smiling while bowing.

Don't get me wrong she's probably the sweetest person but I just want to rip her head off. Seeing her close up I hated to admit it but, she was stunning. Now I know why Jungkook picked her.

"I just wanted to say hello, and I'm happy for you and Jungkook" well I'm trying to be okay but that's another story.

"Oh thank you. He's been an amazing boyfriend so far." She giggles.

Of course he's an amazing boyfriend, he's caring, selfless and sweet. I mean look at him he's made out of boyfriend material. Maybe someone like me doesn't deserve him. 

Taehyung comes out of one of the rooms and notices me talking to IU he immediately tries to get me away.

"Y/n...our manager says he needs to talk to you about something" He says seriously.

"Tell him to wait." I snap at him.

"Y/n come on! Not now." he demands.

He knows if I stay a little bit longer with her I might say something I shouldn't.

"It was nice meeting you. We should hang out sometime." I say. I need more details about everything.

I go up to Tae and put my head in his chest. "I'm dying I can't anymore... Why does she have to be so perfect? I can't compete with her! Even worse, it's almost impossible for me to hate her."

"Stop saying things like that!" He says while patting my head. "Put all your emotions into something good. Just write a song."

"Would you help me write it?" I asked while looking up at him.

"Of course" he replied.

And so I've decided to pour all my emotion into a song. The funny thing is I haven't talked to Jungkook in a week. That's never happened before. I miss him but I guess I have to avoid him a little bit more.

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authors note:
I hoped you enjoyed this chapter. I've been obsessing with updating lately it's insane. Well anyway gooooodnight loves! And also no hate for IU I literarily love her and her music! All love for her!❤️❤️