Slowly sipping on the pain till i pass out.-Jay Sean
(Do you love me-Jay sean)
I must have blacked out because i woke up on the floor of my room.I recall tiny bits of last night.Like when i jumped off of my bed and landed head first on the floor.It must have thought i was on a cliff or something trying to end everything.I guess that's why my head hurt so bad.I gathered my broken self up so as to clean up my room of any evidence that would expose of my drinking.My mother has a dislike for drunks,always had.Like that day when you were bringing me back home and she almost killed you because your hoodie smelled of liquor.After spreading my bed and tossing the liqour bottles under it,i quickly set the water temperatures and prepared for my shower.
You always loved showering back at my place,for one the water temperatures could be regulated and lastly and the most important thing was because it was our favourite spot.
I still can imagine us in the shower.Your hands on my back pushing me close to you making my breasts rub against your chest as you trace your fingers up and down my spine copying the flow of water as it runs down my back.I cannot even shower now.So much for letting you in,into my life and into my house.Now everything reminds me of you.
I quickly finished up with the shower and got into some sweats.I mean i was not going out or anything.Plus i did not even know what to do on a Saturday.Mostly because i had spent every Saturday at your place either watching episodes of our favourite series back to back or you beating me at fifa.I had even lost contact with a majority of my friends.I had spent so much time investing on our relationship that i had not noticed how i was breaking most of my friendships.
I sat on the sofa took out my headphones and quickly put ed sheeran's perfect on replay.It's going to be a long day,i said to myself making myself comfortable ready to get lost in the memories.
I read somewhere though that a quick way to heal was by going back to what caused the pain and letting it torture you again and again till you get numb and used to the pain.If i wanted to heal,step one would be allowing myself to hurt again.I closed my eyes allowing myself to slowly drift away.
