Can someone ever want something so bad but still let it go?
(Listen to NF-Let you down)
I sat across the empty room going through my phone not sure if i should use the extra credit on my phone to call you or use it to purchase internet bundles so as to stalk your social media pages.I settled on the second option bacause you'll never find out plus i had so much time on my hands since all my lectures for the day had been cancelled.It had been a habit for quite some time now and i must say this was only making me more depressed than before. Three weeks, three days and 5hours since you last made contact.Yes ,I have been counting shoot me.I wonder how you felt not talking to me because i felt terrible.I had gotten so used to talking to you,you had grown on me and now that we had stopped communicating i felt as if a part of me was missing.You had updated your status on whatsapp though, just some minutes ago.I quickly rummaged through the app settings on my phone so as to turn off my read receipts.If i was to stalk you,i had to go incognitio mode.I am not taking any risks here.After all i had made it pretty obvious to you that i was finally going to move on and i would not allow myself to make any mistakes that would expose me lurking around to know about your daily life activities.It was a black and white picture of the former Us president puffing up some smoke into the air while pointing to his Bart tshirt.Mahn you must be too gone off the molly and weed.Prolly almost blacking out somewhere in your house.This are some of the little things that make me miss you.I dunno if it's the fact that everytime i hold a blunt i'll think of you or everytime family guy or the simpsons pops up on my screen i can imagine you sitting right next to me watching it.The sound of your laughter as your laugh at practically everything still resonates so loudly in my head making it seem like you are standing here right next to me.I must admit i cannot remember a single episode of most of these shows.Practically because i always get lost looking at you,your face your reactions and how happy you always looked.And i sit here wondering why,if i made you happy like how you always claimed i did,why you'd rather choose being away from me. Damn i feel like just thinking about you makes blood drain from my face and makes me crave you being here with me.Right here, right now.But once you let loose a baloon from your hand into the air,either someone taller than you will reach for it or it may never come back to you.Baby i am sorry if i might have left when you told me to.Because maybe deep down you hoped i would not leave.But baby i know that someday you will come back to me.Because to me you were my stronghold.You were much stronger than a baloon.And i always pray that no matter how many people you meet in your life,you sure will one day boomerang back to me.
