Elena's Fantasy Diaries

The Stripper

Does it even matter anymore? I mean, I chose Stefan and unless we break up and Damon is forgiving enough to let me back in and we give it a go as a couple, I doubt these feelings will end soon. But at the same time, there's nothing I can do about them. I can't just break up with Stefan because I'm lusting after his brother. If Stefan and I break up, it needs to be for more than just being about Damon.

Speaking of which, back to my diary update and what triggered the dream.

To get my revenge on Rebekah I decided to use the white oak stake on her. I knew Damon had it so before the party, I went searching through his bedroom for it. He caught me, and although I lied and said I was looking for his bourbon, he knew what I really wanted. Maybe we really are alike after all. Anyway, he'd been hurt while tracking the vampire hunter and he began to take his clothes off.

Damon has the most amazing body. I couldn't stop staring. He knows I find him physically attractive. After Denver that's no secret. It's not like I've never seen him completely naked before, he did give me quite the show for my 18th birthday. The knowledge of what he feels like and how he looks when he is naked was almost too much. When he sarcastically asked if I was going to "Stay for the show." I desperately wanted to say yes. I wanted to run my hands all over his chest, and well everywhere to be honest. But I didn't and he eventually gave me the stake.

It gets more difficult restraining my desire around Damon. He knows it which is why he's teasing me. I guess deep down both of us suspect that at some point in the future, I'm going to cheat on Stefan with Damon. Although technically I already have if you include the blood sharing. Damon is the only one who has the self control to stop it from happening, and I'm not sure if even he is capable of stopping me.

That means I'm going to have to be careful tomorrow, or today as it is now. Later I'm going to Whitmore College with Bonnie and Damon. Bonnie is going to see a professor who has some of her Grams things which Bonnie wants. Damon thought it would be easier to learn 'snatch, eat, erase' away from Mystic Falls so I don't try to feed from someone I know and then feel guilty about it. His theory is the less I know about the person I'm feeding from, the better. I guess it makes sense.

At least Bonnie will be there which will deter me from wanting to rip Damon's clothes off every five minutes.

Somehow I doubt this will be my last entry unless I finally happen to have sex with Stefan, but after me hallucinating he was Damon so soon after the blood sharing thing, he might hold off for a while. So in the meantime, I guess my Damon dreams will have to be what gets me through my sexual frustration and physical loneliness.

E

....the previous night's dream.

Elena had had enough of Rebekah's antagonizing. The Original sister had pushed her too far at school today, creating emotional reactions Elena didn't think she was capable of having, or had managed to keep under control when she was human. Unfortunately now she was a vampire, she was unable to contain her reactions. Stefan had always complained about the worst part of vampirism being the blood lust, but Elena was finding it a very different experience. It was the heightened emotions she hated. The inability to control urges to destroy those who hurt her. Incredibly Damon's occasional outbursts had begun to make sense to her.

This desire to kill Rebekah had brought Elena to Damon's room. To kill her she needed the last white oak stake, which was in Damon's possession. It was just a case of where to find it. Damon had a history of hiding things in plain sight, which led her to his bedroom. Initially she'd checked among the firewood, but it wasn't there. Hence she began to search the rest of his bedroom. She'd already made a mess, his clothes strewn across the floor. It was a good job Damon wasn't around, he was obsessive when it came to tidiness. So far she'd made it through most of Damon's closet and not found any sign of the white oak stake, however the one thing which did hit her was Damon's scent surrounding her. For some strange reason it had a calming effect on her.